Texting about Television: HIMYM Season 9 Series Finale

Sure, I could write a long torturous post about how disappointed I was with the finale of 'How I Met Your Mother' and how my life is practically over and MY GOD how could the showrunners do that to me?! But, you know, everyone's doing that.

Instead, here's a summation of my feelings about the finale expressed via frantic text message.

HIMYM: The Lighthouse S9Ep8

As evidenced by the number of times it's discussed on this blog, 'How I Met Your Mother' is one of my favorite sitcoms.

Of course, when I say that I'm talking about the early years; the magic of Robin Sparkles, the joy of the slap bet, the novelty of watching entire relationships unfold and then fail (hey Robin and Ted!) or shockingly succeed (hello again Robin and Barney!).

I can't remember exactly when HIMYM began to lose its spark, though I am completely willing to rewatch the entire series to find the answer. I love it enough to watch it all over again, even as I'm frustrated by what it is today.

I do remember, and I think this is evidenced by my blog posts, that I found season eight very uneven. For me that season was plucked out of obscurity by the last couple of episodes. In particular "The Final Page", the season finale that finally felt like HIMYM again. Barney manipulating people by being simultaneously cruel and hilarious, with just the right amount of heart? That felt like HIMYM. Robin being typically indecisive, torn between her desire and her head and her past traumas? Yeah, that's HIMYM. Ted Mosby whiny and dissatisfied? HIMYM. Lily and Marshall inseparable and ridiculous? Ditto.

But then there was season nine.

HIMYM: The Final Season S9 Episodes 1, 2 & 3 Recap

Aw our babies are growing up.

And by growing up I mean making horrible life decisions like actual grown-ups do. They're adults now, so the MacLaren's gang doesn't get to go on wild adventures without consequences anymore...

or do they?

Let's recap:

The Goodwin Games: Yay or Nay?

Execs at CBS certainly didn't think 'The Goodwin Games' had the "it" factor. After all, the show wasn't picked up the fall schedule, even though CBS chose to pick up four other new comedies.

Now that the show's been relegated to the summer line-up it seems like it's a lost cause. So why watch it?

HIMYM & Castle Give Us the Same Episode: Bro Mitvah vs. Lives of Others

Barney’s bachelorette party and Castle’s birthday party were basically the same event...

.

‘How I Met Your Mother’ is known for often over the top comedy, while ‘Castle’ is a mix of crime, drama and comedy. Apart from the comedic link, the shows normally couldn’t be more different.

HIMYM: "Band or DJ", Season 8 Episode 13

Last night's 'How I Met Your Mother' gave us a little bit of reassurance: Barney and Robin make it to their wedding reception.

Prior flash-forwards have suggested that both Barney and Robin freak-out right before their wedding. There was also a suggestion that Robin would climb out the same window that Victoria climbed out of on her wedding day.

However, the flash-forward at the end of last night's episode showed Robin dancing at her wedding, and Ted casually leaning against a bar while he watched the mother (okay, the mother's hand) play the bass.

 But how did we get to this point?

'HIMYM' Breaking News: Renewed or Cancelled?

Wait, what?

No, WHAT?

'HIMYM' breaking news!!

The show has officially been renewed for a final ninth season.

Jason Segel was originally hesitant to resign to the hit show, but now that he has acquiesed the rest of the cast is on board.

That means we get another year to meet the mother. Or, as many loyal viewers and fans hope, a year to see the mother acually become a part of the group.

Hopefully fans of the CBS hit comedy will be pleased.

First an engagement, now this, it's certainly been a good 'HIMYM' week.




The cast nine years ago, when they were BABIES.





HIMYM: The Final Page Part One & Two

'How I Met Your Mother': "The Final Page" (S8Ep11&12)

Tonight's Vocabulary: 'Pit Person' (n)--the one person in your life who you want to get rid of so badly you're willing to throw them in a pit in your basement, a la 'Silence of the Lambs'.

'How I Met Your Mother' references its canon again and again in one of the most important episodes of the series.

As those of you who regularly watch the show know, Barney and Robin have both been spinning out of control over the last several episodes. Unfortunately, instead of spinning together they seemed to be spinning further and further apart. Yet we, as loyal viewers, knew that something had to bring them together. Why? Because at the end of last season's finale (S7) a flash-forward revealed that Robin marries Barney*.

The first ten episodes of Season Eight definitely did everything in their power to dissuade us from believing that truth. First, Barney and Robin drunkenly kissed...and Robin rejected him. Then Barney told Robin that he was letting her go...once and for all. Robin's reaction to that was less than favorable, and she began to realize her true feelings for Barney. But she never had time to act upon them, because Barney started dating Robin's "arch-nemesis" Patrice (for a more thorough description of the beginning of Season Eight go HERE).

"The Final Page" was a two-part episode (episodes 11 and 12) and was also the winter finale for the show. In actuality, the climax of the episode felt very much like a season finale, but since the show may not be renewed for a ninth season (and since it would have been painful to watch the writers attempt to drag out the tension much longer), this was a perfect time to air the episode.**

HIMYM: The Over-Correction (S8Ep10)

'How I Met Your Mother': "The Over-Correcting" (S8Ep10)

Tonight's vocabulary:  'Over-Correcting' (vb)--when you've been hurt by someone you've dated so you date their complete opposite.

Tonight 'How I Met Your Mother' showed that it can still deliver.

The episode shifted the group dynamic but somehow managed to be better aligned with the general tone of the show than the last several episodes.

In last night's episode, "The Over-Correction", Robin's worst fears were realized. Barney was actually dating Patrice.

Or was he?

Robin's determination to discover whether Barney really had feelings for her co-worker (and arch-nemesis) carried most of the plot.

HIMYM: Lobster Crawl..."But he's her lobster!"

You know how sometimes something is really, really stupid but it makes you laugh anyway?

That describes last night's HIMYM in a nutshell.

"Lobster Crawl" (S8Ep9) opened with an exchange that was so ridiculous that I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or turn off my TV.

Since this season of "HIMYM" has been incredibly uneven (both in quality and in tone) I decided to bear with it.

I still can't decide if I'm pleased with that decision.

The episode opened with the gang (plus baby Marvin) hanging out at the bar.

People's Choice Awards 2013!

The People's Choice Awards are in! Apparently that's all the motivation I need to update this blog. I don't need anything as major as the Emmys to get my act together. A meaningless ceremony (otherwise known as a popularity contest where those who win are those who understand the internet and tweens best) is all it takes. So, I guess take note or something?

Anyway, GET EXCITED.

The televised show isn't until January 9th, 2013 but you can vote for the nominees now.*

*If you voted before you weren't actually casting a "ballot" (that seems too serious a term for this event) but rather indicating who you wanted to be nominated. Now that they actually are nominated they need your vote again to actually win. Aww, democracy at work.

 Since this blog focuses on television, here are the TV nominees (along with some slightly snide commentary)...

HIMYM: So, are Robin and Barney Actually Getting Married?

mild spoilers

As you can see by my recent 'How I Met Your Mother' recap, I was less than pleased with the eighth season's premiere episode. I was annoyed because I'm a huge Robin/Barney supporter, and I felt like Thomas and Bays were once again trying to be all intellectually tricky with us.

Do Robin and Barney get married? How can that happen if they both have cold feet? Is Ted really insinuating (to that old lady at the Farhampton train station) that the wedding didn't happen at all?

HIMYM Season 8 Premiere: Farhampton

The premiere of 'How I Met Your Mother' once again disappointed. Craig Thomas and Carter Bays are well-known for dropping tantalizing hints only to snatch them away a moment later. Unfortunately, this time they may have led us on for an entire summer which, to mix my analogies, may be the last straw.

Eh, who am I kidding. Obviously I'm going to keep watching this season of 'HIMYM', but I was seriously frustrated by the premiere.

First things first, we once again began with a flash forward, and we were once again at Barney and Robin's wedding. It's in a little town called Farhampton (way to be obvious that this moment's far away

HIMYM: The Magician's Code

Lots of exciting things happened on tonight's 'How I Met Your Mother'. Some of them were very expected, and at least one of them was a little less expected. If you haven't seen the episode yet, don't read what follows, because it has massive spoilers.

Robin & Barney

With the big two-part season finale of 'HIMYM' happening one week from tomorrow (yep, that's right, it's a full hour!), there's one thing on everyone's mind. Or at least, one thing on the mind of everyone who watches the show and has a vague investment in what happens to the characters:

Will Barney marry Nora Quinn? I'm sorry, they've been dating for such a short amount of time I couldn't remember which girl it was. But seriously, will he marry Quinn?

See, there was this flashback at the beginning of the season. Barney was getting ready to get married, and he turned to Ted and asked him if he was making the right decision. Now, I would say he's simply marrying

Monday Nights are Tricky

I just realized that I've been failing miserably at recapping two of my favorite shows. 'Bones' and 'HIMYM' have kind of fallen by the wayside, and I apologize for that. Monday nights are hard, y'all.

Actually, what's hard about Mondays is the fact that everything I want to watch (besides NBC's Thursday night comedy line-up, and the random assortment of shows I watch on all the other networks), is now relegated to Mondays. And it's the start of the week. And while I could previously watch almost everything I ever wanted (except for 'Castle') on a Thursday night, and not feel guilty about going to bed at an ungodly hour (who goes to bed at a reasonable time on a Thursday night? Not my frat-boy neighbors), now that's impossible. Because there's swanky new TV scheduling out there which makes my Mondays look like this:

8 pm: Quick, pick, do you want to watch 'HIMYM' (CBS) or 'Bones' (FOX)?
8:30 pm: If you watched 'HIMYM' this is now a half hour of free time to recap/discuss/debate that 'HIMYM' episode--but let's be honest, you probably went with 'Bones' and that's an hour long so...
9 pm: 'Bones' is over. Sometimes you might watch 'Hart of Dixie' (CW), except, let's be honest, ratings aren't so hot and it's probably going to get cancelled. Plus, you're hungry, and 'Castle' starts in 45 minutes. And you could have just spent this past hour recapping/discussing/debating 'Bones', but now it's an hour later so...
10 pm: Hey, it's time for 'Castle'. Sometimes commercials are used for writing a blog post, because (honestly) you feel kind of guilty about not doing anything else. <--This is how 'Castle' posts end up showing up every week, FYI.
11 pm: Well, that's over, and technically it's probably time to go to sleep, because there's this thing called work that happens in the morning. And will continue happening every morning for the next four days. Because it's only Monday.

I leave you with this, a song about hating Mondays. Which I feel kind of bad about posting, because I now realize (post Googling) it may actually be about some school shooting that happened in the '80s. But let's just focus on the hating Mondays aspect.

HIMYM: The Broath

Barney makes Ted swear a "broath" (bro oath, obviously) while wearing a "brobe" (bro robe, for those who haven't caught on). You see, Barney really likes Quinn, and he is going to invite the gang to meet her during dinner. However, he's worried about how the gang is going to react to the fact that Quinn is a stripper, so he asks Ted to promise not to tell them. Of course, Ted promises and then immediately tells the gang.

The group decides that they will try to figure out if Quinn is really trying to take advantage of Barney and his money. During the dinner they discover a couple of things. 

1. Quinn is super controlling of Barney. Or, at least, the gang sees it that way. Is it possible that they have just never seen Barney take anyone else's opinions under consideration. Remember the past episode when Robin was dating Kevin (Kal Penn) and we saw the gang from his perspective? My point is, on this show you never know if what you're seeing is "real".

2. Quinn is moving out of her rent-controlled apartment. Since Robin and Ted let Marshall and Lily have the apartment, they haven't had a place to live. Of course, they can't live together because of the whole "Ted still loves Robin, and for both their sakes they can't live together" thing. Both Robin and Ted are living in awkward situations (Ted's living in student housing, and Robin is staying with her controlling co-worker), so they really want to sublet Quinn's apartment. It instantly becomes a competition.

3. Marshall loves to tell sex stories. Unfortunately, the only woman he has ever had sex with is Lily, so that makes it a little...awkward...for the rest of the gang.

4. There are tickets for an expensive trip to Hawaii in the apartment.

5. Quinn and Barney are moving in together.

Per usual, the gang holds an intervention (make that a "Quinntervention") to tell Barney that he is making a big mistake moving in with Quinn. In the middle of the intervention ("Quinntervention"), right when the gang is telling Barney that Quinn is clearly taking advantage of his money (note: the Hawaii trip), Quinn walks in. It turns out she bought him the trip as a surprise.

But, when Quinn hears that Barney made Ted promise to hide the fact that she is a stripper, she decides that maybe they are moving too fast. She believes that Barney isn't accepting of who she really is. And she does sort of have a point. 

Quinn and Barney's relationship may be ruined, but Robin and Ted are more devastated about the fact that they've lost the sublet. The break-up does cause Robin and Ted to address their problems. Robin admits that she really misses Ted's friendship, and that she is super stressed at work and may be losing her job. She explains that she lost everything in one day.

The gang feels horrible about ending Quinn and Barney's relationship, and they go to apologize. He makes them do a "broath", while wearing robes, in a darkened room lit with candles. He even makes Lily and Robin kiss, and Marshall and Ted kiss. But, at the end of the "broath", the lights turn on and Quinn is standing there. 

It turns out Quinn and Barney orchestrated the whole thing. Quinn purposefully acted like a bitch, Barney purposefully acted submissive, and they purposefully decided to make Ted and Robin fight. (That last one was really all Quinn, as Barney said, she's "as evil" as he is). 

At the end though, Barney and Quinn decide that they really do want to move in together. Barney admits that he is not necessarily okay with Quinn stripping, and he asks what would make her stop:

"Hypothetically, what would make you stop?"-Barney

"Hypothetically, I would stop stripping if I ever got married."-Quinn

'HIMYM' stop taunting us with the whole "who is Barney's wife" storyline. We already have a "who is Ted's wife" storyline. Must you be so annoyingly convoluted?

Robin and Ted talk, and realize things have gotten really weird between them. They meet at the bar to discuss. Robyn informs Ted that she just got a big promotion, and that she is now Sandy River's co-host. So, yay! Robyn is not fired. Because she is now making more money, she can afford a nicer apartment, and lets Ted take Quinn's sublet. Ted admits that he does miss their friendship, and promises that things will go back to normal. Robyn smiles and thanks him, but things quickly become awkward and she gets up to leave. As he is walking away, Ted's voice-over states that this was the last time he saw Robyn for a long time. But why? Where is she going? I don't think 'HIMYM' would be any good without Cobie Smulders!

Anyway, there is a sweet moment between Lily and Marshall where she gives him permission to make up a third-base thing with a different woman. Believe me, it's sweeter than it sounds. 

So, what's going to happen next week? Will we find out if Robin is gone, or if she and Ted are just estranged? Will Quinn feature as prominently as this week? Becki Newton, who plays Quinn, is only signed up for a short episode arc, so who knows!

It's Season 7, Episode 19 and Lily is still pregnant!

HIMYM: Karma

I was thrilled with last week's episode for one reason: Ted and Robin did not get back together. Thank God! I could maintain the illusion that Barney and Robin were going to rekindle their relationship. Unfortunately, that illusion was short-lived. In tonight's episode Barney moved closer to a serious relationship with Quinn (Becki Newton), and further away from Robin. No! Say it isn't true!

Oh, wait, look...they're kissing. Okay, so it's true. For now. My guess is that the Quinn/Barney relationship will continue during the rest of this season, but that it will by over by the time the season ends. After all, Becki Newton is one of the lead roles in the new FOX comedy pilot 'The Goodwin Games'. Take that, Quinn! I suppose it should be said that the creators of 'HIMYM' (Craig Thomas and Carter Bays) are also the creators of this new show, so they never designed Quinn to be long-term. I hope this also means that they didn't design her to be Barney's wife (remember that flashback from earlier this season, where we found out that Barney was tying the knot?). Finally, I hope that if 'The Goodwin Games' gets picked up it is less circuitous and irritating than 'HIMYM'.

In tonight's episode, Barney found out that Quinn was a stripper. Not only that, but she was a stripper at the strip club that he frequents.

WHAT?! Eh, it makes sense. I never look at their faces.

"Everywhere I go I see her...I see her dancing on that pole!"-Barney
"I see her dancing on that pole too"-Ted

Quinn manipulates Barney into paying her for multiple lap dances ($900 worth!), while he impatiently waits to see if she will go out on a real date. He refuses to see the manipulation, even though Ted sees it (and come on, it's Ted. He never notices anything). Instead, Barney emphatically states that he is "in love" with Quinn. Ted's a tad shocked, mainly because Barney is stealing his line, but also because Barney has never openly admitted to loving anyone. In his shock, Ted manages to break a chair. But it's all good, because he can probably make the empty bedroom into a woodworking shop. See, ever since Robin left he has been trying to come up with another use of the room...he's already steamed meat, so maybe woodworking is the next logical move.

Barney believes that he is dating Quinn for most of the episode, despite the fact that she pulls almost every move from his own playbook. At the end of the episode, they run into each other at a coffee shop, and have their first real date.

In other news, Robin is living with Lily and Marshall now, since she had to leave her former apartment since she isn't actually in love with Ted, and living with a guy who loves you that you don't love? Awkward. 


Despite the fact that Robin hates Long Island, she feels herself trapped there. Mainly because Lily and Marshall are doing everything in their power to keep her there. Turns out they really hate Long Island, and they just wanted a friend to move out there with them. Robin points out that she'd rather set herself on fire.

At the end of this episode there actually is a twist that will make the whole series look different: Ted moves out of his apartment. But don't worry, the apartment isn't gone! Instead, he gives the apartment to Lily and Marshall, and sets Robin's old room up for their baby. Pretty adorable.

Huh, guess that girl I slept with really is a stripper!

HIMYM: No Pressure

On tonight's 'HIMYM', Marshall agreed with me (first time I've ever written that in a sentence). He explained to Ted that his big 'platonic friendship' gesture with the Christmas tree lights was really an admission of his love of Robin.

And Ted did admit to both Lily and Marshall (and to a certain extent even Barney) that he really did love Robin. Of course, Robin found that out too, because he told her.

But by the end of the episode we'd learned a couple of things:

1) Marshall and Lily have been betting on their friends' lives for years. Writing bets on pieces of paper like, "Marshall bets Lily Ted will go bald and he'll pull it off", or "Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin won't end up together".

2) Marshall and Lily made a sex tape one time, and even though Barney found it, he couldn't decide if he wanted to watch it or not, so the obvious answer was to break Ted's VCR.

To the sex tape!

3) Robin told Ted that she doesn't love him, they ended their "if we're still single at 40 we'll get married" pledge, and she moved out of the apartment.

4) Ted told Barney that Robin was in love with him. Barney admitted the heartbreak he'd experienced (how he broke up with Nora for Robin, and then she stayed with Kevin). Ted told Barney that Robin and Kevin broke up, but he didn't react with a lot of emotion. I think that goes to show how much Barney really does care about Robin, and how hurt he was. Barney then even went so far as to tell Ted that if Ted ended up with Robin, it would be all right, because he just wanted her to be happy. (Or as he said, "Bros before Hos. And Robin's my bro"). Ted tells Barney he has really grown, and he's right.

5) Robin clearly still cares about Barney too, because when Ted confronted her and stated that she loved Barney, she protested a little too abruptly.

6) The worst part of this episode was the end. Ted, in voice-over, made a statement about how he was glad to be able to permanently close the door on any possiblitiy of ending up with Robin. And I thought to myself, thank god that potential plot is gone. But no, the writers/producers have to never ever make anything concrete, and the episode concluded with Lily trying to get Marshall to pay her because of the bet ("Lily best Marshall that Ted and Robin won't end up together") and he states: "not yet".

Seriously, writers? At a certain point you need to stop playing with loyal fans of the show. It is legitimately getting to the point where I may stop watching. Allow us some progression, you seem to always make small promises regarding plot development and then snatch them back. Stop it. Thanks.

Oh good, we're not getting back together.

HIMYM: The Drunk Train

Tonight's episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' wrapped up loose ends and introduced new characters. In other words, it was pretty damn important.

Once again, Marshall and Lily were relegated to the sidelines. I can only assume this is because once the baby comes they will be the central characters in several episodes. The show normally does a good job of focusing on a few members of the gang at a time, and this week definitely belonged to Barney and Robin.

Unfortunately, it didn't belong to Barney and Robin. (I'm really never going to get over wanting those two to get together).

The Robin storyline wrapped up loose ends. We all knew that Robin and what's-his-name (just Googled it: Kevin!) played by Kal Penn were going to break-up soon. After all, Penn had only signed on for a limited number of episodes. The storyline dealing with Robin's infertility was brought up again too.

Kevin proposed to Robin, and she told him about her infertility. He told her he wanted to marry her anyway. But then Robin explained that it wasn't just that she couldn't have children, she didn't want children. Even though Kevin had always wanted children, he said he wanted to marry her anyway. However, Robin was sensible (for once!) and after some coaxing Kevin admitted that he did want children. So, they broke up.

Meanwhile, Barney and Ted decided to ride the drunk train together (aka the last train from NYC back to the suburbs). The only reason Ted agreed to accompany Barney was that he had made Barney go on a double-date with him, and Barney claimed it was horrible. He could not stop complaining about a girl named Quinn.

It turned out that Quinn (Becki Newton) had noticed all of Barney's normal tricks and shot him down every time. Eventually, though, she had agreed to sleep with him. Barney was clearly obsessed with her, especially since he complained about her often (much as he used to complain about Robin).

So, the Barney storyline introduced new characters: We've been told all season that Barney will have a new love interest who will be as much as a player as he is. Quinn is clearly that person. If we were in any doubt, the fact that it turned out she was a stripper at Barney's favorite strip club (a fact that she had hidden from him, and that he still doesn't know) highlights it.

The Robin storyline concluded with her being depressed in front of Ted (this is becoming a bit of a pattern). She was upset, and admitted to Ted that she wasn't sure she would be able to find anyone who wanted to be with her. Ted then told her that he wanted to be with her, and that he loved her.

Ugh. Okay, so I've actually seen this coming for a while. I even suggested it during my long rant about the episode that cruelly told us that Robin wasn't pregnant and could never have babies. Ted was the only one Robin told about her infertility during that episode, making him her person. He also did a big gesture (decorating the apartment with lights), and in Ted's world big gestures always seem to be romantic.

Even if Robin and Ted do get together for a bit this season, they clearly won't last. For one thing, Ted's children always refer to her as Aunt Robin. And he has two children. Unless, of course, the whole series has been a fake-out like Robin's pretend children were.

(Please no, I want Barney and Robin together! Ted is my least favorite, so he can end up with whoever).