Thank God for Summer Television

I spent shockingly little time watching television this past year. 

 

Since we all know that's a blatant lie let me rephrase--my commitment and enthusiasm for watching shows live declined dramatically. The only shows that I watched as they aired were 'Castle' and 'How I Met Your Mother'. Don't ask me why those specific shows won out, because I honestly don't have an answer.

Now, however, it's finally summer and while (since adulthood) that doesn't mean my workload is any less than it is during the rest of the year, the annoying heat and rampant mosquitoes will encourage me to watch more TV as it airs. Lucky you!

What shows am I planning on watching and/or already watching?

'Cheer Perfection': Will There Be a Second Episode?

In a rather bizarre marketing move, TLC has been advertising the premiere of 'Cheer Perfection' for several weeks, drilling into our heads that the premiere date was July 11th, 2012.

Now, the word premiere obviously just means "for the first time", so technically there is nothing wrong with them using it in their previews. However, I think it also led numerous TV viewers to believe that 'Cheer Perfection' was going to be a new series.

New TLC Shows

There are a couple of new shows that TLC has chosen to produce that haven't been marketed yet. Until they get an official airdate, there's no guarantee that they'll be coming to our TVs, but here are a few shows that you might be able to watch soon:

'Cheer Perfection' is Coming to TLC

Cheerleading is coming to TLC! No, not a taped competition, but rather a special about the cutthroat world of children's cheerleading.

Sound oddly familiar? It should. The show is set up with a format that is almost identical to Lifetime's very successful show, 'Dance Moms'. After all, no one owns the petty mom/competitive kid arena.

TLC is clearly hoping to be as successful as 'Dance Moms', and maybe steal some of Lifetime's viewers while they're at it.

wednesdays are for reality tv

Reality Television Night

I'm really not a big fan of reality television. I think most of it is incredibly junky, and I have an especially hard time watching other people suffer on screen. It's bad enough when it's scripted.

Regardless, summer is a time when I do tend to watch more reality television, more out of necessity then anything else. Unfortunately, almost all of my favorites air at the exact same time on Wednesday nights.

Here are my top 4 favorites (in no particular order):

1. Toddlers & Tiaras
TLC, Wednesdays, 10 pm
Each week's episode follows 3 different girls and their mothers as they prepare for a beauty pageant, and then compete. Pretty shocking stuff (fake tans on two-year-olds, false teeth on three-year-olds, acrylic nails on toddlers) combined with ridiculously inappropriate on stage antics pairs for a train wreck worth watching.

2. Love in the Wild
NBC, Wednesdays, 10 pm

Can't stand kids? Well, 'Love in the Wild' doesn't have any. Instead it's a show that focuses on a group of twenty-somethings thrown into a jungle in Costa Rica. Oh, and they all work (and sleep!) in pairs with a member of the opposite sex. At the end of each episode they can choose to stay with that week's partner or switch to someone "better" (aka hotter). I like this show because the contestants' quirks and flaws shine far more realistically when they're completing a realistic nature challenge (i.e. building a raft to get across a river infested with crocodiles, or climbing down rope ladders into caves filled with bats) than it ever will on 'The Bachelor'.

3. Dance Moms
Lifetime, Wednesdays, 10 pm
This show is clearly mimicking the successful model of 'Toddlers & Tiaras', but that doesn't make it any less compelling. It follows a group of pre-teen competitive dancers and their controlling mothers. Actually, the only one who's less intense than these moms is their dance teacher. Each episode begins with the children preparing for the weekend's dance competition, and ends with their competitive dance number. Well worth watching for the drama alone, plus the dancing actually is pretty impressive.

4. The Glee Project
Oxygn, Sunday, 9 pm
This show isn't exactly inspired. It's a competition show much like many that have come before it. Teenagers, lured by the chance to have a 7 episode arc on 'Glee', live together in dorms and compete daily in different singing/dancing/acting challenges. At the end of each episode the 3 weakest competitors are asked to sing for 'Glee's' creator (Ryan Murphy), who choose one to eliminate. There's just something about watching talented, but slightly whiny, teenagers compete that I find oddly compelling (probably because I'm not in high school anymore).

'Dance Moms' vs. 'Toddlers & Tiaras'

I just happened to stumble across 'Dance Moms' on Hulu. The show focuses on a group of young competitive dancers (ages 6-9), their mothers, and their coach. Really it's little more than 'Toddlers & Tiaras' for the dancing set. In fact, the shows are both on Wednesday nights at 10! This choice surprises me a little, since I have a sneaking suspicion that the folks who watch 'Toddlers & Tiaras' will want to watch 'Dance Moms' too. It doesn't seem like a smart marketing move to put the novel show ('Dance Moms') on at the exact same time as the other already successful show.

Regardless, 'Dance Moms' is a horrific reality show that's worth watching. The show focuses on the girls as they train with their coach for a week, and ends with them competing at a dance competition. It's all gearing up for the season finale, which will focus on the girls' performance at Nationals. And these girls have won before, so they expect to do it again.

For the most part the mothers seem a little saner than those on 'Toddlers & Tiaras'. However, I suspect the only reason for that is because they have someone else coaching their child (and telling her what to do/yelling at her, etc.). The moms on 'Toddlers & Tiaras' don't have this, so their crazy is immediately evident. And the moms on 'Dance Moms' must be (at least a little) crazy, because they see the rehearsals, and they choose to leave their daughters in a toxic environment that includes constant belittling, an open ranking of which dancer is the best, and provocative dance moves and costumes that would barely be appropriate for a 16 year old. Plus, each time the children are interviewed (even in their own homes) they are dressed like little barbie dolls, complete with full make-up and fake nails.

Watch the show and make up your own mind...what's worse? 'Dance Moms' or 'Toddlers & Tiaras'?

A new episode of 'Dance Moms' airs tonight (Wednesday) at 10 on Lifetime.

It's Summer...What Are You Going to Watch?

What You Should Be Watching This Summer:

Now that summer's fully upon us (official June 21st!) what are you planning on watching while your favorite shows are on hiatus? Find some of my recommendations for live TV viewing and Netflix browsing below:



Mondays

1) Rizzoli & Isles. Premieres July 11th. Mondays 10/9 c on TNT.

Harmon (from 'Desperate Housewives') as a homicide detective. Alexander (from 'Dawson's Creek' and 'NCIS') as a medical examiner. They solve cases. They're best friends. There's homoerotic tension if you want to look for it.

2) Weeds. Premieres June 27th. Mondays 10/9 c on Showtime.
Marie-Louise Parker. Marijuana dealer. Mother to three. If you're going to watch this you have to play catch up first.

Tuesdays

2) Covert Affairs. Tuesdays 10/9 C on USA.

CIA. Hot female spy. Sexy James Bond lite. Enough said.

Wednesdays

3) Toddlers & Tiaras. Wednesday 10/9 c on TLC.

Ridiculous pageant moms and their children. Watch them 'train'. Watch them 'compete'. Watch the horror of child beauty pageants while sitting on the edge of your seat.

4) Damages. Wednesdays 10/9 c on DIRECTV.
Reality TV not really your thing? Watch Glen Close as a manipulative lawyer, and Rose Byne as her equally devious, slightly more genuine, younger counterpart.

Netflix It Anytime

5) Better Off Ted. Netflix.
If you missed this when it was on the air catch up with it right away. Crazy R&D firm. Portia de Rossi as an insensitive yet hilarious boss. Science nerds, children, and love interests.

6) Arrested Development. Netflix.
I know, I'm really pushing de Rossi's work. But this is pure genius. Watch it at least 3 times to get all the hidden subtext. Zany family, criminal charges, Michael Cera, and the most ridiculous plot you've ever seen. Plus, it has four characters all named some combination of George/Michael. How can you not love it?

7) Wonderfalls. DVD.
Recent Brown graduate works retail. Inanimate animals talk to her. They help her solve people's problems. Add a hot bartender/potential boyfriend and a hilarious closeted lesbian sister and you've got a must-watch.

8) Bones. Netflix.
Rewatch seasons 1-4 (all available on Netflix) and then somehow get your hands on season 5 and 6. Rewatch before November premiere date of season 7. Find the subtext. Reevaluate the writers...maybe they're not all crazy?

9) Law and Order: SVU. Netflix.
Crime, Benson, Stabler. It's all there. With 248 episodes you can really keep summer boredom at bay.

10) Parks and Recreation. Netflix.
Amy Poehler. Ridiculous local government. Rashida Jones. Oh, and did I mention Amy Poehler?

11) 30 Rock. Netflix.
Tina Fey. Alec Baldwin. Behind the scenes of an SNL-like show. Plus Jane Krakowski. Oh, and did I mention Tina Fey?

12) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the series). Netflix.
Because it's a cultural milestone. With a spunky ex-cheerleader and her quirky friends. Oh and said ex-cheerleader kills demons. Plus, early (note: hot) David Boreanaz.

reality tv doesn't really make you famous. really.

Remember how I said that last post's photo would relate to this one? Well this is why.

I almost never mention reality/documentary television. For one thing, it's really not applicable since one reality television show is rarely going to launch a television career. Unless, of course, you count something like being a bachelorette on "The Bachelor" and then being cast as the lead on "The Bacchelorette". But come on, that's not real acting. Anyways, before I get distracted by ranting about that subject, let me rant about something else instead:

"Toddlers and Tiaras"...I'm somewhat obsessed with this show. There's something horrifically fascinating about mothers pursuing their dreams of perfection through their children. For those of you who don't know, every episode follows a similar formula:

"Toddlers and Tiaras" introduces us to a particular pageant theme (for instance, the 'living doll' pageant, or the 'rodeo' pageant). We then are introduced to three children who are going to be competing in that pageant. We see some b-roll footage of their hometowns, a shot of the front of their house, and some shots of the children practicing/preparing for the pageant. This includes some really problematic decisions on the parents part (i.e. spray tanning your two-year-old? of course. acrylic nails on your four-year-old? who doesn't do that).

Anyway, if you want to be completely drawn into a show that will in all likelihood disturb you, then you should probably watch "Toddlers and Tiaras".

So, why, you may ask, am I mentioning the show on this particular site? Well, mainly because a while ago "The Talk" (CBS) had a 'special' guest. Eden Wood, a four-year-old pageant competitor, who sang a song that was horrific in its own right. And not the fun side of horrific that "Toddlers and Tiaras" falls into, but rather the disturbing/turn-off my TV right now/WTH side of horrific. Watch the clip, as you can see the hosts of the show basically agree with me.

Anyway, the child went from "Toddlers and Tiaras" to "The Talk" so I suppose she climbed somewhat up the TV tree. Kind of.