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Sunday, February 17, 2013

Horrible Things on Downton Abbey: Season 3 Episode 7

In the never-ending story of misery that is 'Downton Abbey', more horrible things continue to happen to the Crawley family.

Season 3, Episode 7*:

 Lord Grantham is apparently really, really into cricket. Ever year the house team plays the village team and more often than not the house loses. Robert is not happy about this.

Violet's niece, Rose, visits. She's annoying and has stupid hair. She also likes to drink and dance with older married men. When Matthew discovers this he is not happy.

Mary thinks she might be infertile. Matthew thinks he might be infertile. It's been a couple of months and Mary is not pregnant and she should obviously be pregnant now with all the sex they're having. Not like it takes a while to get pregnant or anything.

Because it's 'Downton Abbey' neither Mary nor Matthew admit their fears. Because it's 'Downton Abbey' something actually is wrong...with Mary. She has an operation to fix it (what could it be? I'm seriously curious; please let me know your thoughts). Matthew discovers this fact when he goes to the same doctor's office as Mary to check his own fertility.

Jimmy told Carson about Thomas being in his room. Homosexuality is illegal so no one is very happy when Jimmy threatens to go to the police unless Thomas is fired (with no references).

Bates feels bad for Thomas and tells Lord Grantham. Robert then threatens Jimmy, makes him lie to the police, and promotes him to first footman (Alfred is not going to be happy).

Thomas is promoted to under-butler and Bates is certainly not happy. What's that they say? No good deed goes unpunished?

A year later

The Crawleys all go to Scotland to stay with annoying Rose's parents.

Her parents fight a lot and treat her poorly and maybe that's why she drinks so much.

Her parents are also losing their family estate, and Robert finally realizes that Matthew's forced modernization was a good thing.

The Crawleys agree to take Rose off her parents' hands.

Mary is eight months pregnant. She insists that the pregnancy will not keep her back from doing anything. Then she feels really ill and agrees to go home early, but only if Matthew stays behind.

Everyone is freaking out because Sybil died a year ago right after childbirth.

There's a new maid named Edna. She flirts with Branson. She gets fired.

The servants are still at Downton. They go to a fair. Jimmy is almost robbed but Thomas saves him. Thomas gets badly beaten for his trouble.

Mrs. Patmore has a beau. But it turns out he doesn't like her, just her cooking. He kisses lots of other women.

Mary delivers her baby and lives! It's a boy (and an heir)! Matthew takes the train home and visits his wife and baby in the hospital. He makes a super sweet speech about how this is now his family and he loves Mary more than anything.

He drives back to Downton to fetch the others.

He crashes his car.

And dies.

And that's today's update of 'Horrible Things on Downton Abbey' and the end of this season. 'Downton Abbey' has been renewed for a fourth season and will premiere on PBS sometime next year.

I'm just waiting to hear Lord Grantham say "at least there's an heir" next season.


*Known as Series 3 Episode 8 and the Christmas Special in the UK.

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