'New Girl' Christmas Episode ('The 23rd') Recap

"Why are you guys hugging?"-Jess
"Just guy talking."-Nick 
"About, uh...how moved we are by jazz music"-Paul

"That's a lie. I told him you didn't love him, Jess."-Nick

"What?!"-Jess

"But he said it nicely!"-Paul

The episode began with a cute roommate moment minus Jess (unfortunately these Jess-less/bro-time moments are a rarity). The guys are all wearing roller skates that Jess has given them for Christmas, and Schmidt starts a bro-fight (how many times can I use 'bro' in this post?) because he is apparently the best skater since he had figure skating lessons till he was thirteen.

Jess realizes that she needs to buy Paul a gift, but they've only been dating for about a month, and so she is clueless about what's appropriate. She takes Nick shopping with her, solidifying the fact that he is the guy she trusts the most (can they please hook up already). Apparently she was going to give Paul a homemade nerdy sex gift certificate, but decided it was too ridiculous. She shows it to Nick and he snatches it from her, stating he'll keep it for the future (yeahhh, he'll use that in the future).

Schmidt reminds the group they all have to come to his office Christmas party. He then goes and visits Cece and presents her with a homemade perfume (which apparently smells horrible). He also gets to watch her make out with her hot boyfriend (equally horrible).

Paul gives Jess a super expensive presents (tickets to Vienna etc.), plus the gift of an "I love you". Jess gives him a plush beating heart, and says "Thank you". Equivalent gifts? I think not.

She admits to Nick that she doesn't love Paul, and asks his advice. Nick, unfortunately, runs into Paul on the office party's balcony and lets Jess' secret slip. Jess walks into the middle of the conversation, and awkwardness ensues. Further awkwardness? Nick, Paul, and Jess all get locked on the balcony. This gives us some comedic gems, including Nick answering a phone call from his mom while Jess and Paul discuss breaking up:  "Hey Mom! I can't talk right now, I'm in a real awkward situation".

Jess and Paul break up, and Nick feels bad. He misses his flight home so that he can take Jess and the gang to see a row of Christmas-decorated houses (gee Nick, just ask her out already!). Unfortuantely, by the time they get there all of the lights are off. Nick starts yelling at them to "turn on the lights!", and soon Schmidt, Winston, and Cece join in. Eventually Jess perks up a little and joins in too, and the lights get turned on. As this happens we get to hear Zooey Deschanel as She of 'She and Him' sing a Christmas song in the background, while we watch Zooey Deschanel playing Jess on screen. It's very...meta.

Maybe we'll hook up when 'New Girl' is back in January