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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Horrible Things on Downton Abbey: Season 3 Episode 3

In the never-ending story of misery that is 'Downton Abbey', more horrible things continue to happen to the Crawley family.

Season 3, Episode 3*:

Branson shows up at Downton. He’s sopping wet and he’s interrupting dinner, so clearly it’s a massive inconvenience.

Apparently back in Ireland the estate of a wealthy family was burned to the ground (wait a minute…how did he get to sort-of-rural England so quickly? This is 1920, is that even possible?) (I Googled. Apparently it’s sort of possible). 

It’s hard to tell what makes the Crawley family angrier: the fact that Branson may have committed arson or the fact that he left Sybil in Ireland.

Nope. Never mind. It’s now clear.

They’re more upset about the Sybil thing.

Her pregnancy seems to be an afterthought, Lord Branson is more concerned that she’s in a “foreign” country (not like they speak English or anything) and that she’s a woman.

(You’ll be pleased to know that Sybil is safe. For now. God knows with this show).

Robert uses his political know-how (aka his money) and manages to keep Branson out of prison…provided he never goes to Ireland again. Branson (in case you haven’t picked this up from the last two years of “Irish Pride!”) is not happy.

Meanwhile Anna isn’t getting any letters from Bates, Bates isn’t getting any letters from Anna, and they aren’t allowed to visit with each other. Neither of them is happy. In fact, the only person who’s happy in this scenario is the psycho bunk-mate who somehow orchestrated this whole thing.

Ethel lets baby Charlie go and live with his grandparents. Unfortunately said grandparents include that total asshole grandfather. I’d say Charlie was better off with Ethel, except she’s working as a prostitute now, and I’m a tad concerned about where she stashes Charlie while she’s working. So, Ethel says goodbye for the sake of her child and is subsequently miserable.

Daisy is unhappy because there’s a new (more attractive) kitchen maid named Ivy. Alfred is unhappy because there’s a new (more attractive) footman named Jimmy.

Edith is unhappy because women don’t have the right to vote, so she writes a letter to a newspaper.

And that's today's update of 'Horrible Things on Downton Abbey'.

bye bye Charlie

*In a rather odd move, PBS is airing the episodes differently than the UK did…for this reason episode 3 in the States was aired as episode 4 in England.

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