The People's Choice Awards are in! Apparently that's all the motivation I need to update this blog. I don't need anything as major as the Emmys to get my act together. A meaningless ceremony (otherwise known as a popularity contest where those who win are those who understand the internet and tweens best) is all it takes. So, I guess take note or something?
Anyway, GET EXCITED.
The televised show isn't until January 9th, 2013 but you can vote for the nominees now.*
*If you voted before you weren't actually casting a "ballot" (that seems too serious a term for this event) but rather indicating who you wanted to be nominated. Now that they actually are nominated they need your vote again to actually win. Aww, democracy at work.
Since this blog focuses on television, here are the TV nominees (along with some slightly snide commentary)...
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Showing posts with label new girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new girl. Show all posts
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
New Girl Season 2: Relaunch & Katie
'New Girl' is back! Jess, Winston, Nick, and Schmidt are back in fabric and human form in tonight's premiere episodes.
That's right, I said episodes. In a astute marketing move FOX gave us two episodes of 'New Girl' tonight--and instead of airing them back to back they presented them to use in sandwich form, with the pilot episode of 'Ben and Kate' in the middle.*
The biggest downside of the first episode ("Relaunch") was the lack of suspense. If you'd read anything at all about this season's premiere episode you already knew that Jess was going to get fired. I couldn't help but wonder if the moment where Jess bounces into the Vice Principal's office unaware that she's about to
That's right, I said episodes. In a astute marketing move FOX gave us two episodes of 'New Girl' tonight--and instead of airing them back to back they presented them to use in sandwich form, with the pilot episode of 'Ben and Kate' in the middle.*
The biggest downside of the first episode ("Relaunch") was the lack of suspense. If you'd read anything at all about this season's premiere episode you already knew that Jess was going to get fired. I couldn't help but wonder if the moment where Jess bounces into the Vice Principal's office unaware that she's about to
Sunday, September 23, 2012
64th Primetime Emmy Awards: Best and Worst of 2012
'Modern Family' won. Again. And again. And again. Begging the question: does anyone who makes TV in Hollywood actually watch television? Because sure, 'Modern Family' deserved to win...two years ago.
I desperately wish that one of the two men nominated for Best Supporting Actor who were not from the 'Modern Family' cast had won (that's right, every other nomination was for a 'Modern Family' cast member!). Seriously, it should have been Max Greenfield's year. He took a character who could have been a
I desperately wish that one of the two men nominated for Best Supporting Actor who were not from the 'Modern Family' cast had won (that's right, every other nomination was for a 'Modern Family' cast member!). Seriously, it should have been Max Greenfield's year. He took a character who could have been a
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Couples That Aren't Together...Yet
All of us have friends, or at least acquaintances, who we think would be perfect together. If we could only use forceful matchmaking skills, and make them date, all would be good in the world. Well, forcing friends together is a tad...difficult. TV characters, on the other hand, get forced together all the time. Here are a few current TV characters who should be dating, will probably date in the future, but haven't been forced together yet by the shows' writers.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Women of Television?
Dear Vanity Fair & Lee Aronsohn:
I Want More Vagina with My TV, Please
I truly respect and admire the women who appeared in Vanity Fair's “Special TV Issue”. Or rather, the issue that everyone online is calling the "women of television" issue. They have definitely all contributed to the success of their shows. I'm not going to bash any of them for appearing in the magazine. What I’m questioning is why certain women aren't there.
For a special that claims it is focused on women having a great year in television, the magazine focuses on actresses. Are actresses important? Of course they are. Without strong actresses we wouldn't have successful TV shows. But there are a lot of other people who contribute to a television show’s success, and this year a lot of them happened to be women. There are many women who should have been pictured, but aren't: Liz Meriwether, Whitney Cummings, Shonda Rhimes, Molly Solomon, Lena Dunham, Liz Feldman, Nahnatchka Khan, Ellen Degeneres, Emily Spivey, Jane Espenson, Tina Fey, Emily Kapnek, and so many more that naming them all would be ridiculous.
This particular Vanity Fair article is coming out right after Lee Aronsohn (the guy who co-created 'Two and a Half Men') ranted that current television comedies are too focused on women. During this rant he decided to use female genitalia as a euphemism for his disgust. I don't think this is the place to repeat what was said, but Goggle it. He took things way too far.
Despite my disgust at Aronsohn's rants, I'm frustrated that his idea of a big insult is linking female comedy to our reproductive parts. We have a man proclaiming, "enough ladies, I get it, you have periods" while completely ignoring the fact that women (who yes, probably do have periods) are managing to produce and write incredibly successful shows this year. Maybe someone needs to show Aronsohn the number of viewers that 'New Girl' and 'Two Broke Girls' have, compared to his own, male-oriented show.
This takes me back to the Vanity Fair issue. The magazine has created a lot of controversy because it pictures the "women of television" either naked in bed, or clothed only in lingerie. And yes, maybe this will help them sell magazines. Unfortunately, it also sells the idea that women's success lies solely in their sex appeal. I'm sure lots of people are going to only skim this article, immediately argue with me, and say that the magazine has the right to dress women however they want, and that women have the right to agree. Of course that's true. I'm not even sure I'm opposed to the fact that they are dressed in lingerie. What I'm really worried about is the fact that this particular issue of Vanity Fair is placing the "women of television" (who are actually "the actresses of television") into one pretty package. A few of the pictured actresses have producing credits on their shows, but none of them are executive producers or showrunners.
Shouldn't we be asking for more than this? We need successful women in television to be celebrated more, not less, whatever Aronsohn says. Don't believe me? Just look at the numbers: in the last year we saw a massive drop in the number of women behind the scenes of television shows. Only 15% of television writers and 18% of show creators are women. If you ask me, we need exactly the opposite of what Aronsohn wants. I want more vagina with my television, please.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
New Girl Play by Play: Fancyman
Minute zero: Jess compares buying a phone to buying a car and/or buying a bra. Apparently she has had hers for 8 years.
Also, Nick has a 250 credit score. Which is ridiculously low. As Jess points out, "you get 150 for being alive".
Minute one: Winston's girlfriend is a little too enamored by Schmidt's pub knowledge.
Jess just curtsied for a student's father. Awkward! (Also, oh look, he's played by Dermot Mulroney!)
Minute two: Jess to a student's father: "Condoms are harder to take off than I thought. I've always put them on, but I guess someone else has always taken them off". Awkward!
Minute three: Jess is annoyed that the student's dad told her that his daughter can't do creative time. Apparently he is also a little weirded out by the fact that she wears dollheads around her neck (which, let's admit, is a tad bizarre).
Minute four: Tanya, the principal who ate a pot cookie in that one birthday episode, says that since Dermot is a big donor, Jess has to do what he says. Jess is less than pleased.
Minute seven: Winston is upset that Schmidt made him look stupid during trivia night. Also, Schmidt just called Winston the "dumber one".
Minute eight: Winston has decided that memorizing stats doesn't make someone smart.
Minute eight:
I hate groveling, I would have lasted two minutes in the court of the Sun King, I think about that all the time-Jess
You do?-Nick
Jess is worried that she won't be able to grovel enough for Dermot. And she thinks that she has to do some manipulative groveling, because she doesn't really want to apologize.
Minute nine: Winston thinks that a simple apology is enough.
Hey Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do. Your money doesn't own me.-Nick, suggesting what Jess should say to Dermot
Minute ten: Wait. Winston is actually working as a part-time nanny for that little kid from the Christmas party? Since when?
Minute eleven: Jess' car stalls right near Dermot's office. He calls to get a tow truck, and lets Jess borrow his car. He also invites her to a party at his house. Is it a date?
I wasn't raised with money, so when something broke we pretended it still worked-Jess
Minute sixteen: Oh look, it's Cece!
Rich people, they're always giving you their cars!-Jess, complaining about Dermot to Cece
You know me, I'm only attracted to guys...who think someone famous stole their idea-Jess
Minute seventeen: Winston is having nanny-kid quiz him with flashcards with random information.
Minute eighteen: Nick goes to the party with Jess, and she asks him to complain about all the rich people things in the house.
Minute nineteen: Nick is impressed by the fancy desk, and suddenly okay with rich people things.
Nick, when I put my hand on this desk I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life-Nick
Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born-Jess
Minute twenty: Dermot points out to Jess that changing her car's oil may not be a bad idea. And no, that's not a double entendre.
Jess, I'm 42. I've made a lot of moeny, and I enjoy spending it-Dermot (Yeah, okay, I just learned that his name is Russell, but whatever).
Minute twenty-one: Russell says he had a poor credit score at Nick's age, but that he then got a gift. Russell gives Nick a phone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?-Nick
Nick asks Russell why he's being nice to him, and learns it's because he's Jess' friend. So Russell/Dermot really does like Jess.
Minute twenty-two: the fancy Japanese toilet has a bidet built in, and Jess accidentally turns it on, and gets sprayed all over with water. Russell rushes in and has to help. He also tells her he would never revoke his donation to the school, but Jess runs off...I assume she is embarrassed? Not too sure, it went to a commercial break right as she was leaving.
Minute twenty-six: Jess drags Nick away and wants to leave because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Nick tells Jess that he is in love with Russell (He smells like strong coffee, and seeing a man about a horse-Nick).
Minute twenty-seven: Nick persuades Jess to go back inside.
Minute twenty-eight: Shelby doesn't want some rich guy who owns his own car, she wants Winston. Looks like Winston has a girlfriend!
Winston, I hope you're better in bed, because your street work is embarrassing-Schmidt
Minute twenty-nine: Jess admits that she isn't used to people having it all together, and that she is kind of scared by Russell.
Minute thirty: Russell asks Jess out, and she says yes. As she is walking away, she falls into the koi pond.
Also, Nick has a 250 credit score. Which is ridiculously low. As Jess points out, "you get 150 for being alive".
Minute one: Winston's girlfriend is a little too enamored by Schmidt's pub knowledge.
Jess just curtsied for a student's father. Awkward! (Also, oh look, he's played by Dermot Mulroney!)
Minute two: Jess to a student's father: "Condoms are harder to take off than I thought. I've always put them on, but I guess someone else has always taken them off". Awkward!
Minute three: Jess is annoyed that the student's dad told her that his daughter can't do creative time. Apparently he is also a little weirded out by the fact that she wears dollheads around her neck (which, let's admit, is a tad bizarre).
Minute four: Tanya, the principal who ate a pot cookie in that one birthday episode, says that since Dermot is a big donor, Jess has to do what he says. Jess is less than pleased.
Minute seven: Winston is upset that Schmidt made him look stupid during trivia night. Also, Schmidt just called Winston the "dumber one".
Minute eight: Winston has decided that memorizing stats doesn't make someone smart.
Minute eight:
I hate groveling, I would have lasted two minutes in the court of the Sun King, I think about that all the time-Jess
You do?-Nick
Jess is worried that she won't be able to grovel enough for Dermot. And she thinks that she has to do some manipulative groveling, because she doesn't really want to apologize.
Minute nine: Winston thinks that a simple apology is enough.
Hey Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do. Your money doesn't own me.-Nick, suggesting what Jess should say to Dermot
Minute ten: Wait. Winston is actually working as a part-time nanny for that little kid from the Christmas party? Since when?
Minute eleven: Jess' car stalls right near Dermot's office. He calls to get a tow truck, and lets Jess borrow his car. He also invites her to a party at his house. Is it a date?
I wasn't raised with money, so when something broke we pretended it still worked-Jess
Minute sixteen: Oh look, it's Cece!
Rich people, they're always giving you their cars!-Jess, complaining about Dermot to Cece
You know me, I'm only attracted to guys...who think someone famous stole their idea-Jess
Minute seventeen: Winston is having nanny-kid quiz him with flashcards with random information.
Minute eighteen: Nick goes to the party with Jess, and she asks him to complain about all the rich people things in the house.
Minute nineteen: Nick is impressed by the fancy desk, and suddenly okay with rich people things.
Nick, when I put my hand on this desk I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life-Nick
Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born-Jess
Minute twenty: Dermot points out to Jess that changing her car's oil may not be a bad idea. And no, that's not a double entendre.
Jess, I'm 42. I've made a lot of moeny, and I enjoy spending it-Dermot (Yeah, okay, I just learned that his name is Russell, but whatever).
Minute twenty-one: Russell says he had a poor credit score at Nick's age, but that he then got a gift. Russell gives Nick a phone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?-Nick
Nick asks Russell why he's being nice to him, and learns it's because he's Jess' friend. So Russell/Dermot really does like Jess.
Minute twenty-two: the fancy Japanese toilet has a bidet built in, and Jess accidentally turns it on, and gets sprayed all over with water. Russell rushes in and has to help. He also tells her he would never revoke his donation to the school, but Jess runs off...I assume she is embarrassed? Not too sure, it went to a commercial break right as she was leaving.
Minute twenty-six: Jess drags Nick away and wants to leave because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Nick tells Jess that he is in love with Russell (He smells like strong coffee, and seeing a man about a horse-Nick).
Minute twenty-seven: Nick persuades Jess to go back inside.
Minute twenty-eight: Shelby doesn't want some rich guy who owns his own car, she wants Winston. Looks like Winston has a girlfriend!
Winston, I hope you're better in bed, because your street work is embarrassing-Schmidt
Minute twenty-nine: Jess admits that she isn't used to people having it all together, and that she is kind of scared by Russell.
Minute thirty: Russell asks Jess out, and she says yes. As she is walking away, she falls into the koi pond.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
'New Girl' Play by Play: "Injured" Recap
Minute one: Jess hurts Nick by tackling him while playing football. Apparently, he doesn't have insurance. Oh, and after that, we learn that Winston has a really beat-up car (B story-line!).
Minute two:
Jess takes Nick to be examined by Sadie, because he doesn't have insurance.
Is Sadie a gynecologist?-Nick
No, she's an OBGYN. Different thing.-Jess
Minute four:
Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.-Sadie
Oh yes, she tried to steal my overalls.-Jess
Minute five: Nick has a growth in his throat. Sadie says that he needs to have it checked out, and tells Jess to force him to go. (I'm vaguely confused by this, since my first thought is that it's an enlarged lymph node...but, I'll accept it, because clearly this is necessary for plot development).
Minute six: Jess apparently doesn't know how a fetus fits into the uterus. This is funnier than it sounds.
Minute eight: Nick clearly doesn't like doctors. At all. Also, Winston loves his really trashy car way too much.
Minute nine: Jess has told the boys about Nick's neck growth. Clearly they're all worried he'll die...but they're not too serious about it. They all stare at him seriously as he bar-tends.
Minute ten:
I wish I could trade places with you, I would do it in a second. I'm also really glad I can't.-Schmidt
Minute twelve: Nick gets high on pain pills, and tells Jess she can't speak at his funeral because she isn't "real". Clearly she's upset about this.
Minute fourteen: Schmidt and Cece are rapping.
Minute fifteen: Annoyed Jess disses Nick, and tells him he has never done anything.
Minute sixteen: Jess takes Nick to the ocean so that he can run into it fully dressed. Apparently this is something unusual for him, which is why it matters (or something). Funniest moment comes when drunk Schmidt yells about Nick showing the ocean his penis before he shows him. Schmidt is not okay with this.
Minute twenty-one: Nick yells at Jess because he's upset and worried that he might not actually be okay.
"I don't think this is the right time to bring this up guys, but does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds."-Schmidt
Minute twenty-two: Cece is really opening up to Schmidt. She just talked about her dad dying when she was twelve. Shortly afterward, Schmidt makes her laugh...maybe they are a good couple.
Minute twenty-three: Nick tells Jess that he likes her a lot, and that he's glad she's around. He also points out that he probably won't remember since he'll black out.
Minute twenty-four: They all sleep on the beach. Nick wakes up first, and yells at everyone to get up so that they can go to his appointment.
Minute twenty-seven: At his appointment, Nick finds out he doesn't have cancer. He also finds out that his friends paid for the cost of the appointment, because he doesn't have health insurance. Aww.
Minute twenty-nine: Nick and Jess have a moment alone, and he asks her what happened. She smiles, and tells him nothing. It was enough of a moment that I wondered if maybe something had happened between the characters off-screen. Damn, there's chemistry there that the writers are going to have to take advantage of at some point.
Minute two:
Jess takes Nick to be examined by Sadie, because he doesn't have insurance.
Is Sadie a gynecologist?-Nick
No, she's an OBGYN. Different thing.-Jess
Minute four:
Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.-Sadie
Oh yes, she tried to steal my overalls.-Jess
Minute five: Nick has a growth in his throat. Sadie says that he needs to have it checked out, and tells Jess to force him to go. (I'm vaguely confused by this, since my first thought is that it's an enlarged lymph node...but, I'll accept it, because clearly this is necessary for plot development).
Minute six: Jess apparently doesn't know how a fetus fits into the uterus. This is funnier than it sounds.
Minute eight: Nick clearly doesn't like doctors. At all. Also, Winston loves his really trashy car way too much.
Minute nine: Jess has told the boys about Nick's neck growth. Clearly they're all worried he'll die...but they're not too serious about it. They all stare at him seriously as he bar-tends.
Minute ten:
I wish I could trade places with you, I would do it in a second. I'm also really glad I can't.-Schmidt
Minute twelve: Nick gets high on pain pills, and tells Jess she can't speak at his funeral because she isn't "real". Clearly she's upset about this.
Minute fourteen: Schmidt and Cece are rapping.
Minute fifteen: Annoyed Jess disses Nick, and tells him he has never done anything.
Minute sixteen: Jess takes Nick to the ocean so that he can run into it fully dressed. Apparently this is something unusual for him, which is why it matters (or something). Funniest moment comes when drunk Schmidt yells about Nick showing the ocean his penis before he shows him. Schmidt is not okay with this.
Minute twenty-one: Nick yells at Jess because he's upset and worried that he might not actually be okay.
"I don't think this is the right time to bring this up guys, but does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds."-Schmidt
Minute twenty-two: Cece is really opening up to Schmidt. She just talked about her dad dying when she was twelve. Shortly afterward, Schmidt makes her laugh...maybe they are a good couple.
Minute twenty-three: Nick tells Jess that he likes her a lot, and that he's glad she's around. He also points out that he probably won't remember since he'll black out.
Minute twenty-four: They all sleep on the beach. Nick wakes up first, and yells at everyone to get up so that they can go to his appointment.
Minute twenty-seven: At his appointment, Nick finds out he doesn't have cancer. He also finds out that his friends paid for the cost of the appointment, because he doesn't have health insurance. Aww.
Minute twenty-nine: Nick and Jess have a moment alone, and he asks her what happened. She smiles, and tells him nothing. It was enough of a moment that I wondered if maybe something had happened between the characters off-screen. Damn, there's chemistry there that the writers are going to have to take advantage of at some point.
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| Also, this is happening. |
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
New Girl: Bully. Play By Play.
Minute one: Did Schmidt just have sex with Cece and call her a canoe? Oh good, I heard right: apparently she's the canoe on his "body river". Good to know.
Minute one: Is Schmidt still taking? And did they really have sex at least three times? Yes and yes.
Minute two: "Oh my God, you slept with the same girl two nights in a row? ...did she wear a disguise?"-Jess, re: Schmidt's repeat sleepover guest (Cece!).
Minute two: Is anyone else supremely grossed out by the fact that Jess just unwittingly referred to her best friend as a "ho"?
Minute two: Schmidt doesn't parade his girls around?!
Minute two: So Schmidt does parade his girls around like trophies. That makes way more sense.
Minute two: Hitler comments are always awkward. And never funny. Even in this context. Sorry, 'New Girl' writers.
Minute three: Jess is not a good liar.
Minute three: Those horizontal stripes are not attractive. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
Minute four: "Did the cactus tell you that?"-Winston, re: Julia breaking up with Nick by mailing him a cactus
Minute five: Junk mail, get it?
Minute five: Does anyone else think that Cece is faking Schmidt out, and doesn't really want to sleep with him again?
Minute six: WTF, who allows children to use cell phones in a classroom? To videotape? Or do anything?
Minute seven: Huh. Maybe Cece is serious. She is very confusing.
Minute seven: "I'm like a sexual snowflake."-Schmidt, re: not having sex in a car.
Minute eight: I don't buy for a second that Jess would be that excited about a crescent moon. Winston, maybe.
Minute nine: This is awkward. Also, I don't understand why Julia sent Nick a cactus to begin with.
Minute ten: Schmidt is now using cheese references as foreplay. And it's working. Huh, I guess he and Cece are the perfect couple.
Minute eleven: The little girl Briana has the same haircut as Paige from 'Brothers and Sisters', and it's distracting me. I know they're not the same person. At least, I think they're not. (Googled: definitely not).
Minute twelve: "Are you barren, Ms. Day? And why is your voice so deep, like a man's? Your happiness seems like a mask."-Briana, re: Jess' problems.
Minute twelve: I really don't think that Nick should bring up babies right after he accidentally left a voicemail telling his girlfriend that he loved her. Haven't they been dating for like, two weeks?
Minute thirteen: Oh look. They broke up.
Minute thirteen: Jess accidentally broke Briana's robot arm, and now she is fixing it. Maybe.
Minute fourteen: Nick just said "sad face". In a sentence. Man has more problems than just a break-up.
Minute fifteen: Cece won't let Schmidt into a party with tons of people, but she'll eat breakfast with him? Seems suspect.
Minute eighteen: Jess admits to breaking the robot arm, but the principal doesn't care because now Jess is one of them: "a kid hater". Segue, Rachael Harris who plays the principal is in that new movie "Natural Selection", which looks kind of good. She also has dark-rimmed glasses in that. Does she always wear them? (Googled: looks like she wears them a lot).
Minute nineteen: Cece makes Schmidt take her to a random dim sum place for breakfast. I know she wanted to keep hiding it!
Minute twenty: Cece does let Schmid tell the restaurant. He goes a little overboard with that attempted wall flip.
Minute twenty-one: Jess gives Nick a real plant. Is this a symbol of things to come? You just both admitted you're weirdos. Hook up now please.
Minute twenty-one: I love that Jess wrote multiple comments on her own video. I also love Nick's facial expression when he hears the comment "I'd like to grade her a curve", because I think he kind of agrees. Come on, people, why else would he care so much and Jess dropping a hundred condoms in front of Schmidt's room last week?!
Minute one: Is Schmidt still taking? And did they really have sex at least three times? Yes and yes.
Minute two: "Oh my God, you slept with the same girl two nights in a row? ...did she wear a disguise?"-Jess, re: Schmidt's repeat sleepover guest (Cece!).
Minute two: Is anyone else supremely grossed out by the fact that Jess just unwittingly referred to her best friend as a "ho"?
Minute two: Schmidt doesn't parade his girls around?!
Minute two: So Schmidt does parade his girls around like trophies. That makes way more sense.
Minute two: Hitler comments are always awkward. And never funny. Even in this context. Sorry, 'New Girl' writers.
Minute three: Jess is not a good liar.
Minute three: Those horizontal stripes are not attractive. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
Minute four: "Did the cactus tell you that?"-Winston, re: Julia breaking up with Nick by mailing him a cactus
Minute five: Junk mail, get it?
Minute five: Does anyone else think that Cece is faking Schmidt out, and doesn't really want to sleep with him again?
Minute six: WTF, who allows children to use cell phones in a classroom? To videotape? Or do anything?
Minute seven: Huh. Maybe Cece is serious. She is very confusing.
Minute seven: "I'm like a sexual snowflake."-Schmidt, re: not having sex in a car.
Minute eight: I don't buy for a second that Jess would be that excited about a crescent moon. Winston, maybe.
Minute nine: This is awkward. Also, I don't understand why Julia sent Nick a cactus to begin with.
Minute ten: Schmidt is now using cheese references as foreplay. And it's working. Huh, I guess he and Cece are the perfect couple.
Minute eleven: The little girl Briana has the same haircut as Paige from 'Brothers and Sisters', and it's distracting me. I know they're not the same person. At least, I think they're not. (Googled: definitely not).
Minute twelve: "Are you barren, Ms. Day? And why is your voice so deep, like a man's? Your happiness seems like a mask."-Briana, re: Jess' problems.
Minute twelve: I really don't think that Nick should bring up babies right after he accidentally left a voicemail telling his girlfriend that he loved her. Haven't they been dating for like, two weeks?
Minute thirteen: Oh look. They broke up.
Minute thirteen: Jess accidentally broke Briana's robot arm, and now she is fixing it. Maybe.
Minute fourteen: Nick just said "sad face". In a sentence. Man has more problems than just a break-up.
Minute fifteen: Cece won't let Schmidt into a party with tons of people, but she'll eat breakfast with him? Seems suspect.
Minute eighteen: Jess admits to breaking the robot arm, but the principal doesn't care because now Jess is one of them: "a kid hater". Segue, Rachael Harris who plays the principal is in that new movie "Natural Selection", which looks kind of good. She also has dark-rimmed glasses in that. Does she always wear them? (Googled: looks like she wears them a lot).
Minute nineteen: Cece makes Schmidt take her to a random dim sum place for breakfast. I know she wanted to keep hiding it!
Minute twenty: Cece does let Schmid tell the restaurant. He goes a little overboard with that attempted wall flip.
Minute twenty-one: Jess gives Nick a real plant. Is this a symbol of things to come? You just both admitted you're weirdos. Hook up now please.
Minute twenty-one: I love that Jess wrote multiple comments on her own video. I also love Nick's facial expression when he hears the comment "I'd like to grade her a curve", because I think he kind of agrees. Come on, people, why else would he care so much and Jess dropping a hundred condoms in front of Schmidt's room last week?!
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| Jess admires her own comments |
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
New Girl Play By Play: "Valentine's Day" Recap
'New Girl' Play By Play: "Valentine's Day"
Minute one: Schmidt has already said "holla".
Minute two: First dates on Valentine's Day are a bad idea. Even Schmidt knows this. Get a clue, Winston.
Minute two: Is one night sex the new one night stand?
Minute three: Did Jess just refer to her vagina as "little Jess"? Huh.
Minute five: "Bombing emotionally" is not good one night stand material.
Minute six: Schmidt and Cece make a great team. They both like the Phantom Tollbooth! Clearly they're soulmates.
Minute eight: Cece's boyfriend is high on magic mushrooms. Time to break up?
Minute eleven: Schmidt doesn't trust the youths in Jess' potential one night stand's sketchy neighborhood. He kinda has a point.
Minute eleven: Does anyone else think Schmidt has been suspiciously insightful this episode?
Minute sixteen: Everyone is fighting. Everyone. (Except not Julia and Nick, cause they have some weird/not so important B-story going on)
Minute nineteen: Schmidt just carried Cece out of the fight over his shoulder.
Minute twenty-two: Making out while someone is eating tacos is pretty tricky.
Minute twenty-three: That random hook-up guy isn't a web creator, and Jess isn't a player. Boy, what a surprise.
Minute twenty-three: Is Nick going to work for Julia's law firm now? Because that is not a good idea. Ever.
Minute twenty-four: Does anyone else think that Jess and Julia are looking more and more like each other with each new episode? Boy has a type.
Minute twenty-five: Now this is getting depressing (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-five: Depression resolved (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-six: Sometimes I actually want Schmidt and Jess to get together. Weird.
Minute twenty-six: And now she is actually thinking about having sex with him. Is this actually going to happen?
Minute twenty-seven: Oh wait, here's Nick. Ugh, I actually kind of wanted that to happen. Now I feel guilty saying that.
Minute twenty-seven: Oh good, Cece is having sex with Schmidt. The fact that Jess and Cece have similar taste in men is vaguely disturbing. I mean, they both wanted to sleep with him cause he smells good?!
Minute thirty: Jess calls Cece on the phone. She's telling Cece that she almost slept with Schmidt. But Cece is in bed with him. Awkward.
Minute one: Schmidt has already said "holla".
Minute two: First dates on Valentine's Day are a bad idea. Even Schmidt knows this. Get a clue, Winston.
Minute two: Is one night sex the new one night stand?
Minute three: Did Jess just refer to her vagina as "little Jess"? Huh.
Minute five: "Bombing emotionally" is not good one night stand material.
Minute six: Schmidt and Cece make a great team. They both like the Phantom Tollbooth! Clearly they're soulmates.
Minute eight: Cece's boyfriend is high on magic mushrooms. Time to break up?
Minute eleven: Schmidt doesn't trust the youths in Jess' potential one night stand's sketchy neighborhood. He kinda has a point.
Minute eleven: Does anyone else think Schmidt has been suspiciously insightful this episode?
Minute sixteen: Everyone is fighting. Everyone. (Except not Julia and Nick, cause they have some weird/not so important B-story going on)
Minute nineteen: Schmidt just carried Cece out of the fight over his shoulder.
Minute twenty-two: Making out while someone is eating tacos is pretty tricky.
Minute twenty-three: That random hook-up guy isn't a web creator, and Jess isn't a player. Boy, what a surprise.
Minute twenty-three: Is Nick going to work for Julia's law firm now? Because that is not a good idea. Ever.
Minute twenty-four: Does anyone else think that Jess and Julia are looking more and more like each other with each new episode? Boy has a type.
Minute twenty-five: Now this is getting depressing (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-five: Depression resolved (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-six: Sometimes I actually want Schmidt and Jess to get together. Weird.
Minute twenty-six: And now she is actually thinking about having sex with him. Is this actually going to happen?
Minute twenty-seven: Oh wait, here's Nick. Ugh, I actually kind of wanted that to happen. Now I feel guilty saying that.
Minute twenty-seven: Oh good, Cece is having sex with Schmidt. The fact that Jess and Cece have similar taste in men is vaguely disturbing. I mean, they both wanted to sleep with him cause he smells good?!
Minute thirty: Jess calls Cece on the phone. She's telling Cece that she almost slept with Schmidt. But Cece is in bed with him. Awkward.
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| Apparently at some point Jess is going to make out with this guy. |
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Zooey Deschanel is on SNL Tonight!
In case you've been completely cut off from pop culture for the last week, Zooey Deschanel is hosting SNL tonight.
If you're willing to drag yourself away from the new baby photos of Blue Ivy, check out Deschanel's earliest TV appearance ('Veronica's Closet', 1998).
Oh, and I guess you might be interested in watching her SNL promos as well:
Zooey Deschanel will be hosting 'Saturday Night Live' for the first time tonight (2/11/12) on NBC at 11:30/10:30C.
If you're willing to drag yourself away from the new baby photos of Blue Ivy, check out Deschanel's earliest TV appearance ('Veronica's Closet', 1998).
Oh, and I guess you might be interested in watching her SNL promos as well:
Zooey Deschanel will be hosting 'Saturday Night Live' for the first time tonight (2/11/12) on NBC at 11:30/10:30C.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
'New Girl' Play By Play: "The Landlord" Recap
'New Girl' Play By Play: "The Landlord"
Minute one: Jess and Nick seem to spend a lot of time driving around in cars. By themselves. This episode is no exception.
Minute two: Schmidt believes that the world is trying to seduce him. What else is new?
Minute three: Nick's 'pouch' is mentioned again. Which is weird, because Jake Johnson is sexy.
Minute four: Does this scene in the basement remind anyone else of when Emily Deschanel went to see her creepy janitor friend in the 'Bones' high school reunion episode?
Minute five: Jess references four roommates when only three are allowed. Does this remind anyone else of the 'Friends' episode where Jennifer Aniston let it slip to her landlord that she was living with Courtney Cox?
Minute sixteen: Remy (landlord guy) and Jess decide they are going to have dinner together. Nick interjects that he'll come too. Clearly someone's not happy sharing his future gf.
Minute twenty-three: Three-some, anyone? (See, even Remy thinks that Jess and Nick are doing it)
Minute twenty-six: "So this is happening, with...this guy. This is happening, Jess". Three-some time!
Minute twenty-seven: "US two...getting it started". Jess feels awkward about kissing Nick. So, that doesn't happen.
Minute twenty-nine: Schmidt is kind of, sort of right about the whole boss/crush thing. Except not really.
Read a more thorough description of tonight's episode HERE.
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| Eh, not so sexy in this photo. |
'New Girl': "The Landlord"
If we're learned anything from 'New Girl', it's that Nick is often right, and Jess is often wrong. That's why they're perfect for each other! But, I digress.
On tonight's episode, initially Nick was once again right, and Jess was once again wrong. See, the gang has this really cranky landlord man, and Nick realizes a friendship with a person like that is pretty tricky to navigate. Jess, on the other hand, who likes polka dots, and singing, and playing with glitter, finds it pretty difficult to accept the fact that someone won't like her. Which is funny, because last week's episode was all about someone (Julia) not liking her.
Despite the fact that she didn't try very hard with Julia (don't tell me that passive-agressive crocheting really resolved anything), Jess is apparently determined to get curmudgeonly old landlord to like her. Mainly because she's a MPDG. But also, she is kind of a nice person (for the most part, except when she may possibly steal Julia's boyfriend in the future).
Weirdly, by the time the first 10 minutes of the episode has passed, Jess already has the landlord eating out of the palm of her hand (that sounds weird, I just mean that he's willing to fix things for her, but not for Nick).
Except, he really has a crush on her, and apparently things that Jess and Nick's joint attention means that they want a threesome. Which they don't. Except neither one of them is willing to admit this, because it would also mean admitting that the other person was initially right about the landlord.
Eventually, when Nick is about to kiss Jess to get the threesome underway, she caves and tells him that he was right.
He always is.
On tonight's episode, initially Nick was once again right, and Jess was once again wrong. See, the gang has this really cranky landlord man, and Nick realizes a friendship with a person like that is pretty tricky to navigate. Jess, on the other hand, who likes polka dots, and singing, and playing with glitter, finds it pretty difficult to accept the fact that someone won't like her. Which is funny, because last week's episode was all about someone (Julia) not liking her.
Despite the fact that she didn't try very hard with Julia (don't tell me that passive-agressive crocheting really resolved anything), Jess is apparently determined to get curmudgeonly old landlord to like her. Mainly because she's a MPDG. But also, she is kind of a nice person (for the most part, except when she may possibly steal Julia's boyfriend in the future).
Weirdly, by the time the first 10 minutes of the episode has passed, Jess already has the landlord eating out of the palm of her hand (that sounds weird, I just mean that he's willing to fix things for her, but not for Nick).
Except, he really has a crush on her, and apparently things that Jess and Nick's joint attention means that they want a threesome. Which they don't. Except neither one of them is willing to admit this, because it would also mean admitting that the other person was initially right about the landlord.
Eventually, when Nick is about to kiss Jess to get the threesome underway, she caves and tells him that he was right.
He always is.
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| All right, so he's not really that old (see man on left) |
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
'New Girl' Christmas Episode ('The 23rd') Recap
"Why are you guys hugging?"-Jess
"Just guy talking."-Nick
"About, uh...how moved we are by jazz music"-Paul
"Just guy talking."-Nick
"About, uh...how moved we are by jazz music"-Paul
"That's a lie. I told him you didn't love him, Jess."-Nick
"What?!"-Jess
"But he said it nicely!"-Paul
The episode began with a cute roommate moment minus Jess (unfortunately these Jess-less/bro-time moments are a rarity). The guys are all wearing roller skates that Jess has given them for Christmas, and Schmidt starts a bro-fight (how many times can I use 'bro' in this post?) because he is apparently the best skater since he had figure skating lessons till he was thirteen.
Jess realizes that she needs to buy Paul a gift, but they've only been dating for about a month, and so she is clueless about what's appropriate. She takes Nick shopping with her, solidifying the fact that he is the guy she trusts the most (can they please hook up already). Apparently she was going to give Paul a homemade nerdy sex gift certificate, but decided it was too ridiculous. She shows it to Nick and he snatches it from her, stating he'll keep it for the future (yeahhh, he'll use that in the future).
Schmidt reminds the group they all have to come to his office Christmas party. He then goes and visits Cece and presents her with a homemade perfume (which apparently smells horrible). He also gets to watch her make out with her hot boyfriend (equally horrible).
Paul gives Jess a super expensive presents (tickets to Vienna etc.), plus the gift of an "I love you". Jess gives him a plush beating heart, and says "Thank you". Equivalent gifts? I think not.
She admits to Nick that she doesn't love Paul, and asks his advice. Nick, unfortunately, runs into Paul on the office party's balcony and lets Jess' secret slip. Jess walks into the middle of the conversation, and awkwardness ensues. Further awkwardness? Nick, Paul, and Jess all get locked on the balcony. This gives us some comedic gems, including Nick answering a phone call from his mom while Jess and Paul discuss breaking up: "Hey Mom! I can't talk right now, I'm in a real awkward situation".
Jess and Paul break up, and Nick feels bad. He misses his flight home so that he can take Jess and the gang to see a row of Christmas-decorated houses (gee Nick, just ask her out already!). Unfortuantely, by the time they get there all of the lights are off. Nick starts yelling at them to "turn on the lights!", and soon Schmidt, Winston, and Cece join in. Eventually Jess perks up a little and joins in too, and the lights get turned on. As this happens we get to hear Zooey Deschanel as She of 'She and Him' sing a Christmas song in the background, while we watch Zooey Deschanel playing Jess on screen. It's very...meta.
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| Maybe we'll hook up when 'New Girl' is back in January |
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
'New Girl' Gets Naked (and Awkward)
'New Girl': "Bad in Bed" (S1Ep9)
I'm not sure that a half-hour comedy has ever made me feel so...awkward. Assuming that was what the writers/actors of 'New Girl' were going for in last night's episode (and I'm pretty sure it was) they definitely hit the nail on the head. "Awkwardly Adorable" has become something of a Zooey Deschanel/'New Girl' tag-line on Twitter and blogs everywhere. And, lets face it, she does kind of have that down pat.
When 'New Girl' first premiered I had very mixed reactions. I wanted to like it a lot, mainly because Liz Meriwether created it, and there are far too few television shows on the air that are created by women. But, in all honesty, wanting to like it wasn't enough. The pilot episode just felt incredibly awkward to me...and no, I don't mean that in the awkwardly adorable sense. I fount Jess jarring, and the guys irritating. If I didn't write this blog, I probably wouldn't have stuck with the show. But I did, and I'm actually glad.
I still don't think that 'New Girl' is the best half-hour comedy on television. Not by a long shot. But, every couple of episodes I see one I really like, and that motivates me to keep watching. I laughed out loud during both the wedding episode (S1Ep3) and the Thanksgiving episode (S1Ep6).
I had mixed-feelings about last night's episode. For those of you who'd like a little recap: Jess and her new boyfriend, Paul (played by Justin Long) decide to have sex for the first time. But Jess hasn't had sex with anyone except her now ex-boyfriend in over six years. She stumbles across Schmidt's porn stash, and starts to worry that she isn't good at sex. Of course, she decides it's a good idea to ask the guys for advice. She gets more and more worried (and awkward!) and ultimately has a cringe-worthy almost-sex interaction with Paul. Which involves weird fake voices, some very light unintentional S&M, and awkward (!) lingerie. Literally, the whole scene made me cringe to the extent that I wasn't even sure I wanted to watch the episode. I talked with my roommates about it afterwards (weirdly, we were all watching the show in separate rooms) and they had similar reactions. Do you think that was what the writers were going for? Because while I know that awkwardly-adorable is 'New Girl's' middle name, I think that scene was just plain awkward.
I did think the last scene in the elevator was pretty funny, as were the earlier scenes where Jess confronts the guys (and later Paul) about their porn habits.
And, despite their awkward almost-sex scene in last night's episode, I'm pleasantly surprised by the chemistry that Justin Long and Zooey Deschanel have. It's almost believable that they could date despite all their...awkwardness.
Thoughts?
I'm not sure that a half-hour comedy has ever made me feel so...awkward. Assuming that was what the writers/actors of 'New Girl' were going for in last night's episode (and I'm pretty sure it was) they definitely hit the nail on the head. "Awkwardly Adorable" has become something of a Zooey Deschanel/'New Girl' tag-line on Twitter and blogs everywhere. And, lets face it, she does kind of have that down pat.
When 'New Girl' first premiered I had very mixed reactions. I wanted to like it a lot, mainly because Liz Meriwether created it, and there are far too few television shows on the air that are created by women. But, in all honesty, wanting to like it wasn't enough. The pilot episode just felt incredibly awkward to me...and no, I don't mean that in the awkwardly adorable sense. I fount Jess jarring, and the guys irritating. If I didn't write this blog, I probably wouldn't have stuck with the show. But I did, and I'm actually glad.
I still don't think that 'New Girl' is the best half-hour comedy on television. Not by a long shot. But, every couple of episodes I see one I really like, and that motivates me to keep watching. I laughed out loud during both the wedding episode (S1Ep3) and the Thanksgiving episode (S1Ep6).
I had mixed-feelings about last night's episode. For those of you who'd like a little recap: Jess and her new boyfriend, Paul (played by Justin Long) decide to have sex for the first time. But Jess hasn't had sex with anyone except her now ex-boyfriend in over six years. She stumbles across Schmidt's porn stash, and starts to worry that she isn't good at sex. Of course, she decides it's a good idea to ask the guys for advice. She gets more and more worried (and awkward!) and ultimately has a cringe-worthy almost-sex interaction with Paul. Which involves weird fake voices, some very light unintentional S&M, and awkward (!) lingerie. Literally, the whole scene made me cringe to the extent that I wasn't even sure I wanted to watch the episode. I talked with my roommates about it afterwards (weirdly, we were all watching the show in separate rooms) and they had similar reactions. Do you think that was what the writers were going for? Because while I know that awkwardly-adorable is 'New Girl's' middle name, I think that scene was just plain awkward.
I did think the last scene in the elevator was pretty funny, as were the earlier scenes where Jess confronts the guys (and later Paul) about their porn habits.
And, despite their awkward almost-sex scene in last night's episode, I'm pleasantly surprised by the chemistry that Justin Long and Zooey Deschanel have. It's almost believable that they could date despite all their...awkwardness.
Thoughts?
Friday, December 2, 2011
Zooey Deschanel on 'Conan'!
Zooey Deschanel appeared on 'Conan' yesterday. They barely talked about her show ('New Girl') at all, but they did touch on her recent party at the American Girl Store, childhood memories, eating raw hot dogs, and her Grammy nomination.
In related news, apparently Deschanel had at least two American Girl dolls growing up; Molly and Samantha. She doesn't mention Samantha by name, but sadly I immediately knew which doll she was referencing.
Watch her appearance on 'Conan':
In related news, apparently Deschanel had at least two American Girl dolls growing up; Molly and Samantha. She doesn't mention Samantha by name, but sadly I immediately knew which doll she was referencing.
Watch her appearance on 'Conan':
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Christmas Music!
I typically hum Christmas music year round, which rather obviously annoys a lot of people. Luckily, it's December 1st today, which means that Christmas music is once again appropriate! Apparently the media agrees with me. Ellen's 12 days of giveaways started today (if you were in the audience, I'm jealous!) and She & Him performed a song from their new-ish Christmas album.
There is a video, just give it a minute and it will appear.
There is a video, just give it a minute and it will appear.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Lets Talk About: Zooey Deschanel
Okay, as many of you know I have been annoyed by Zooey Deschanel in the past. And no, I'm not talking about her as a person. I don't know her, and I'm not about to trash someone I've never met. I've been annoyed by many of the characters she plays, and by aspects of her celebrity persona.
Despite what I once said about 'New Girl', I have to admit that the show is improving. I still don't think it's comedic genius, but when you hold it up next to other new shows it looks pretty darn good. Jess is still a little bit too doe-eyed, little-girl attired, cutesy hipster for me but she's starting to have an actual personality, so I'm more okay with it. Plus, I actually laughed out loud during parts of "Thanksgiving" (S1Ep6) so I have to concede something.
Jake Johnson is the real reason why I'm enjoying the show more. He does a great job of making the character of Nick seem like a real guy. While Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Winston (Lamorne Morris) are more caricatures (and no, I'm not blaming the actors, but the writing, and maybe even the necessity of plot), Nick is like a real guy who could be hanging around in an apartment. Also, Johnson and Deschanel have great chemistry, which I'm sure will eventually be used by the showrunners in some sort of plot twist. Whether it is a Ross/Rachel scenario, or an actual long-term relationship remains to be seen (though my best guess is they'll use the 'Friends' trope).
My admiration for Zooey Deschanel has also increased because I'm secretly (Guess it's out of the bag now, huh?) obsessed with her band, 'She and Him'. Plus, I think the way that she dealt with Abby Elliott's impression of her on 'Saturday Night Live' was classy.
Despite what I once said about 'New Girl', I have to admit that the show is improving. I still don't think it's comedic genius, but when you hold it up next to other new shows it looks pretty darn good. Jess is still a little bit too doe-eyed, little-girl attired, cutesy hipster for me but she's starting to have an actual personality, so I'm more okay with it. Plus, I actually laughed out loud during parts of "Thanksgiving" (S1Ep6) so I have to concede something.
Jake Johnson is the real reason why I'm enjoying the show more. He does a great job of making the character of Nick seem like a real guy. While Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Winston (Lamorne Morris) are more caricatures (and no, I'm not blaming the actors, but the writing, and maybe even the necessity of plot), Nick is like a real guy who could be hanging around in an apartment. Also, Johnson and Deschanel have great chemistry, which I'm sure will eventually be used by the showrunners in some sort of plot twist. Whether it is a Ross/Rachel scenario, or an actual long-term relationship remains to be seen (though my best guess is they'll use the 'Friends' trope).
My admiration for Zooey Deschanel has also increased because I'm secretly (Guess it's out of the bag now, huh?) obsessed with her band, 'She and Him'. Plus, I think the way that she dealt with Abby Elliott's impression of her on 'Saturday Night Live' was classy.
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| Plus, I finally get how to defrost a turkey |
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
FOX shows on Hulu: Questionable Marketing
Hulu allows viewers to experience television's newest shows even if they missed them the first time. It's a way to suck in new viewers, or maintain current viewers, by allowing them to catch-up. It's also a way to reduce illegal downloads of shows, while still retaining some financial advantage (after all, we all know Hulu advertises).
Several of the networks are using Hulu in the best way possible: they are releasing shows within 24-hours of their air date. This allows those of us with work, with children, with busy lives, to catch-up when we miss an episode. Many of us would like to watch our favorite shows live but we can't, and Hulu is a legal alternative. Releasing a new episode within 24 (or even 48) hours gives viewers an opportunity to find time in their lives to watch the episode they missed before it is time for the next new episode to air. This increases the likelihood that they will watch the next episode live. Which is, presumably, the ultimate goal of the networks: to have the maximum number of viewers.
FOX is currently making a big mistake. While their new episodes do appear on Hulu almost immediately after airing, they are only available to Hulu Plus members (those people who pay a fee to access Hulu content). These episodes do eventually appear for free, but not until after the next new episode has aired. For many of FOX's shows this is doing more harm than good.
For instance, last week I missed an episode of 'House', a show that I often choose to watch live. I knew that 'House' aired on Mondays on FOX, so I went on Hulu Sunday night to catch-up. Because 'House' is largely plot-driven, missing an episode can be confusing. The previous week's episode of 'House' was still only available to Hulu Plus members--a full six days after airing. Guess when it did become free and available? This morning. After the newest episode of 'House' had aired. Guess who didn't watch 'House' live last night?
Sure I could continue to watch things a week behind, and as a viewer I wouldn't be too upset. But as a network FOX should be. I could easily become one less viewer who's watching their TV show live. And of course there's the separate issue: if content isn't available for free on Hulu there are plenty of other sites where a viewer can easily watch a show they missed. Everyone knows that. And using those sites is definitely not financially beneficial to the networks.
I just double-checked to make sure this wasn't a flux. It isn't. New Girl aired last Tuesday and it still isn't available for free on Hulu Plus. There's a new episode premiering tonight.
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