OUAT: Can a new locale save the show? S3Ep1

It's the season of change: colder weather bringing with it the brand new fall TV schedule. Of course, like always the perennial favorites are still there. 'Once Upon a Time' began with a novel idea--what if fairy tales were real? What if an evil queen had cast a curse and forced fairy tale characters to live in our world as ordinary people? What if multiple world exists? All of these questions were sufficient to make the first season of 'Once Upon a Time' an intriguing premise. But last season it seemed like a lot of the same thing. Continued flashbacks to characters' fairy tale pasts made slightly less interesting by the fact that said characters now all remembered who they were. At least the end of the second season had a twist--Henry, the birth son of the Savior and the adoptive son of the Evil Queen, was kidnapped and brought to Neverland.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the series has been the attempted redemption of the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla). This season should be particularly fascinating as 'good' and 'evil' join forces to try and save Henry.

Other ABC shows are trying to revitalize by moving their characters to different locations: in this week's premiere of 'Castle' Beckett moved from New York to DC.

Is a  new locale exactly what 'Once Upon a Time' needs to recover from its sophomore slump? 

Dexter Season 7 Premiere on Youtube

Watch the Season 7 premiere of 'Dexter' entitled "Are You...?" below & then check out my comments!

Castle 5x02: Cloudy with a Chance of Murder RECAP

The shippers must be passing out right now. They've finally got what they wanted all along: Caskett.

For those of you not in the know, Caskett is the nickname that fans rooting for a relationship between Castle and Beckett have given to the investigating duo.

Last week's season premiere gave fans plenty to be happy about. Castle woke up in bed after finally having slept with Beckett. And they both agreed that they wanted to try and make it more than just a one time deal. Though it was never said a (gasp) relationship was implied.

In tonight's episode that theme was still flowing. Castle watched Beckett get dressed after having clearly spent the night at her apartment. In fact, considering how he brought her a cup of coffee from her own kitchen, it's pretty clear that he is feeling quite at home. And you only get that feeling when you've been somewhere. A lot. As for Kate's (not so) subtle sexual innuendo at the end of last week's episode? The coffee incident alone makes it pretty clear she has kept her promise. They've been having lots and lots of sex.

Castle 5x03 Promo: Secret's Safe With Me

Here's the promo:




And do I think their relationship secret is really safe?

Eh. For now at least. Certainly for as long as the writers can have fun with it. Which I guess would be a very very long time.

Castle 5x02 Sneak Peeks

Happy 'Castle' Monday y'all!

In honor of tonight's episode (S5Ep2: Cloudy with a Chance of Murder), enjoy these sneak peeks. Which are definitely spoilers.

Grey's Anatomy S9Ep1: Going Going Gone Recap

'Grey's Anatomy' is back in an episode that's as good as it is confusing.

As a quick reminder, last season ended with a bang. Literally. A plane carrying a team of doctors that included Meredith, Cristina, Derek, Mark, Lexie, and Arizona crashed. In the sob filled finale, Lexie died while pinned under the plane. Cristina injured her arm, Arizona was bleeding badly from her leg, Derek had a damaged hand, and Mark had some serious internal injuries.

You'd expect the premiere episode to pick up right after the crash, but instead the episode leapt several months ahead.

New Girl Season 2: Relaunch & Katie

'New Girl' is back! Jess, Winston, Nick, and Schmidt are back in fabric and human form in tonight's premiere episodes.

That's right, I said episodes. In a astute marketing move FOX gave us two episodes of 'New Girl' tonight--and instead of airing them back to back they presented them to use in sandwich form, with the pilot episode of 'Ben and Kate' in the middle.*

The biggest downside of the first episode ("Relaunch") was the lack of suspense. If you'd read anything at all about this season's premiere episode you already knew that Jess was going to get fired. I couldn't help but wonder if the moment where Jess bounces into the Vice Principal's office unaware that she's about to

Castle: After the Storm, Recap

5x01 Recap

Castle and Beckett wake up together and it's almost as perfect as we all imagined. Castle is scared it was just a dream, but then Beckett walks in, wearing only an oxford shirt, and carrying two mugs of coffee. She hands one to Castle and perches on the edge of the bed. And they discuss the night they just had. Castle references the line that Beckett whispered to him in the first season, where she insinuated that he had "no idea" what sex with her was like. He smiles and admits to her that indeed, he had "no idea". Except now he does!

HIMYM Season 8 Premiere: Farhampton

The premiere of 'How I Met Your Mother' once again disappointed. Craig Thomas and Carter Bays are well-known for dropping tantalizing hints only to snatch them away a moment later. Unfortunately, this time they may have led us on for an entire summer which, to mix my analogies, may be the last straw.

Eh, who am I kidding. Obviously I'm going to keep watching this season of 'HIMYM', but I was seriously frustrated by the premiere.

First things first, we once again began with a flash forward, and we were once again at Barney and Robin's wedding. It's in a little town called Farhampton (way to be obvious that this moment's far away

Castle Season 5 Sneak Peeks

And now I've watched the preview scenes! You can watch them too, right here:

Castle Seaon 5 Premieres Tonight!

Here's what I think might happen:

Let me preface this by saying that I have not yet seen this season's premiere of 'Castle'. And I have not yet watched any of the sneak peeks. So, there are no spoilers here. Unless you consider the few things I have gleaned from watching the only promo that ABC has released to be spoilers.

First of all, it's clear that there are at least two bedroom scenes, because the bit in the promo where Castle and Beckett wake up in bed together, and he asks if it was good for her, is clearly spliced. Will we get two bedroom scenes in the first episode? Who knows! I certainly hope we do.

It's also fairly obvious that Castle and Beckett will try to keep their relationship hidden as much as possible. Not only will they have the same fear as Chandler and Monica on 'Friends'..."we're both really bad at

'Bones': Season 8, New Tonight. Premiere.

'Bones' is back! The show's eighth season is premiering tonight on FOX at 8/7 C.

FOX's decision to have it's shows return a week earlier than most other networks may be one of their smartest moves yet. Monday nights are going to be a tough crowd this year...'How I Met Your Mother' and 'Dancing with the Stars' will be 'Bones' main competition in the same time-slot.

'Castle', a show which attracts the same type as viewers as 'Bones', had a strong season last year. Arguably last season was one of 'Bones' weakest. There was a combination of:

HIMYM: The Magician's Code

Lots of exciting things happened on tonight's 'How I Met Your Mother'. Some of them were very expected, and at least one of them was a little less expected. If you haven't seen the episode yet, don't read what follows, because it has massive spoilers.

Castle: 47 Seconds

On tonight's 'Castle' things started with a bang. Literally.

At a protest clearly based on the Occupy movement, an explosion is shown on national television as a bomb explodes behind a news reporter. Five people die and eleven are wounded.

Castle, Beckett and co. investigate. Initially the Chief gives them a list of 300 protest attendees and they start randomly interviewing suspects. Not surprisingly, this doesn't really get them anywhere.

Lanie helps a little. She finds blue canvas embedded on the victims, so the bomb must have been encased in a backpack or suitcase.

Eventually the Chief, who apparently has friends in really high places (like, really, really high), gets the GPS coordinates of all of the cell phones of the attendees. This is pretty ridiculous, because although the government does have access to that information, there is no way anyone would get it so quickly. Clearly none of these people have ever tried to get a real warrant. Anyway, disbelief needs to be suspended to accept the rest of the episode.

Right, so GPS. They have it, we're dealing with it. They managed to track a phone that was right next to the bomb when it went off--it must belong to the bomber! It belongs to Andrew Haynes, a political activist. They all think Haynes is the bomber, but we know otherwise. It's only half an hour into the episode...way too early to find the criminal.

The FBI decides Haynes is their man, but Beckett and Castle are more hesitant. It occurs to Castle that they should ask a drummer who is in the background of the video from the bombing. The drummer is initially hesitant to give them any information, because he is afraid of immigration. Beckett assures him that she doesn't care about that, and he is soon talking. He tells them that he saw a man drop off a blue backpack. He describes the man. Beckett believes that he is telling the truth, because they didn't tell anyone about the blue material.

Castle is thrown by the bombing, because it makes him think about how short life is. He decides to tell Kate how he feels about her. He starts to say something, and from Beckett's expression she knows what's coming, but he is interrupted before he can finish. He says they'll talk when the case is over.

The Chief sends Castle home with hundreds of witness statements to look over, since he is a speed reader.

While Castle is at home, Esposito and Ryan identify the man with the backpack. He is brought in for questioning. Castle comes in as Beckett is in the middle of questioning the witness. He stands behind the window listening, and Beckett has no idea he is there. The man with the backpack tells Beckett that he is in shock and can't remember the bombing at all. She yells at him that she was shot and that she remembers everything. Castle hears her and is shocked and hurt. This means that Kate has known all along that he told her he loved her. Also, Kate did recently lie about her memory (need a reminder?).

He meets his mother at the memorial for the bomb's victims. He tells her that he find out that Beckett knows, and she tells him that maybe he needs to move on. He tells her that he'll move on from Kate, but that he has to keep working at the precinct--it gives him purpose. And he needs to keep doing it for the victims.

Beckett leaves the witness in holding and sees a coffee (Castle's normal token of affection) on her desk. She asks Esposito where he is, and he tells her that Castle was there but said that he quickly had to leave. God I wish that A) Esposito tells her that Castle was listening to the witness or B) that she puts it all together. But she doesn't.

Castle returns to the precinct, and is quite icy towards Beckett. She appears puzzled each time he directs a snide comment her way. (Seriously, this woman is a detective?)

They soon figure out that the man with the blue backpack was actually a pick pocket. He stole the backpack from between two dumpsters. They realize that if it had exploded there it wouldn't have hurt any of the protesters.

After looking at more witness statements, they realize that the organizer of the protest was the actual bomber. When the man stole the blue backpack the organizer chased him, and tried to stop the bomb from going off. This tells them that he didn't have control of the detonator.

Re-watching the footage of the bombing, it occurs to Castle that the news reporter set off the bomb. Beckett looks at him proudly, but he doesn't smile in return.

They bring the reporter in for questioning. During the questioning Castle talks about standing up and telling the truth, especially if other people get hurt. He is clearly talking about himself and Beckett (and she still doesn't get it!). The reporter caves, and she is arrested.

At the end of the case Beckett asks the guys to come with her and grab a drink. Esposito and Ryan turn her down, and she looks expectantly at Castle. He says no, and starts to leave. Kate stops him, and asks him if he wants to tell her what he started to tell her earlier. He shakes his head and leaves. She seems slightly hurt and surprised.

And that is the end of the episode. How painful was that?!

In the promo for the next episode we hear Kate ask Lanie why Castle is turning away. And Lanie says: "Maybe he just got tired of waiting". Yeah, or maybe he just had his heart broken because he heard you yell that you remembered everything about your shooting (including said guy's professed love for you). And now he thinks you purposefully ignored him and played with his feelings, and has no idea you really like him. Way to go, Kate. Ugh.

I'm guessing they won't be this close again for a while.

New Girl Play by Play: Fancyman

Minute zero: Jess compares buying a phone to buying a car and/or buying a bra. Apparently she has had hers for 8 years.

Also, Nick has a 250 credit score. Which is ridiculously low. As Jess points out, "you get 150 for being alive".

Minute one: Winston's girlfriend is a little too enamored by Schmidt's pub knowledge.

Jess just curtsied for a student's father. Awkward! (Also, oh look, he's played by Dermot Mulroney!)

Minute two: Jess to a student's father: "Condoms are harder to take off than I thought. I've always put them on, but I guess someone else has always taken them off". Awkward!

Minute three: Jess is annoyed that the student's dad told her that his daughter can't do creative time. Apparently he is also a little weirded out by the fact that she wears dollheads around her neck (which, let's admit, is a tad bizarre).

Minute four: Tanya, the principal who ate a pot cookie in that one birthday episode, says that since Dermot is a big donor, Jess has to do what he says. Jess is less than pleased.

Minute seven: Winston is upset that Schmidt made him look stupid during trivia night. Also, Schmidt just called Winston the "dumber one".

Minute eight: Winston has decided that memorizing stats doesn't make someone smart.

Minute eight:
I hate groveling, I would have lasted two minutes in the court of the Sun King, I think about that all the time-Jess
You do?-Nick


Jess is worried that she won't be able to grovel enough for Dermot. And she thinks that she has to do some manipulative groveling, because she doesn't really want to apologize.

Minute nine: Winston thinks that a simple apology is enough.

Hey Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do. Your money doesn't own me.-Nick, suggesting what Jess should say to Dermot

Minute ten: Wait. Winston is actually working as a part-time nanny for that little kid from the Christmas party? Since when?

Minute eleven: Jess' car stalls right near Dermot's office. He calls to get a tow truck, and lets Jess borrow his car. He also invites her to a party at his house. Is it a date?

I wasn't raised with money, so when something broke we pretended it still worked-Jess


Minute sixteen: Oh look, it's Cece!

Rich people, they're always giving you their cars!-Jess, complaining about Dermot to Cece

You know me, I'm only attracted to guys...who think someone famous stole their idea-Jess


Minute seventeen: Winston is having nanny-kid quiz him with flashcards with random information.

Minute eighteen: Nick goes to the party with Jess, and she asks him to complain about all the rich people things in the house.

Minute nineteen: Nick is impressed by the fancy desk, and suddenly okay with rich people things.

Nick, when I put my hand on this desk I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life-Nick


Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born-Jess


Minute twenty: Dermot points out to Jess that changing her car's oil may not be a bad idea. And no, that's not a double entendre.

Jess, I'm 42. I've made a lot of moeny, and I enjoy spending it-Dermot (Yeah, okay, I just learned that his name is Russell, but whatever).

Minute twenty-one: Russell says he had a poor credit score at Nick's age, but that he then got a gift. Russell gives Nick a phone.

Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?-Nick


Nick asks Russell why he's being nice to him, and learns it's because he's Jess' friend. So Russell/Dermot really does like Jess.

Minute twenty-two: the fancy Japanese toilet has a bidet built in, and Jess accidentally turns it on, and gets sprayed all over with water. Russell rushes in and has to help. He also tells her he would never revoke his donation to the school, but Jess runs off...I assume she is embarrassed? Not too sure, it went to a commercial break right as she was leaving.

Minute twenty-six: Jess drags Nick away and wants to leave because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Nick tells Jess that he is in love with Russell (He smells like strong coffee, and seeing a man about a horse-Nick).

Minute twenty-seven: Nick persuades Jess to go back inside.

Minute twenty-eight: Shelby doesn't want some rich guy who owns his own car, she wants Winston. Looks like Winston has a girlfriend!

Winston, I hope you're better in bed, because your street work is embarrassing-Schmidt


Minute twenty-nine: Jess admits that she isn't used to people having it all together, and that she is kind of scared by Russell.

Minute thirty: Russell asks Jess out, and she says yes. As she is walking away, she falls into the koi pond.

Castle: A Dance with Death

Last night's 'Castle' episode (S4,Ep18) wasn't much of a surprise. The return of the show after its brief hiatus had been steadily advertised on ABC, and most of those ads had paired 'Dancing with the Stars' together with 'Castle'. So, we all knew what was coming: a 'Dancing with the Stars'-themed 'Castle' episode! And that's exactly what we got.

'Castle' began moments after 'Dancing with the Stars' ended, and the sets looked so familiar that for a second I thought that Tom Bergeron was going to pop up and tell the viewers that it was all a big hoax, and that we were going to have to suffer through a second hour of 'DWTS'. Thank goodness, this wasn't the case. Instead, we were watching the set of 'A Night of Dance', a dancing competition show that would feature heavily in this episode of 'Castle'.

The host and judges of the show were waiting in anticipation for a dance-off to occur between two competitors, Santino and Odette. Santino stepped onto the stage, but Odette was nowhere to be seen. Of course, since this is 'Castle', we instantly knew that she was dead.

And dead she was. The whole gang arrived at the scene. Odette had been shot in the chest, and Lanie quickly confirmed that it was a recent murder. Lanie also revealed that she was a huge fan of 'A Night of Dance', and that Odette was favored to win the whole competition. Oh, and that Odette had previously been a spoiled rich kid with a shopping addiction and drug problem. Anyway, now we know that Lanie loves trashy reality television, and that she wanted to be a ballerina as a child (um, way to randomly throw that storyline in, I can only assume it is because the writers later want to have Beckett and Castle discuss their childhood dreams).

Castle and Beckett interview all of the judges, and learn that a contestant who was previously voted off the show had been extremely upset. His name was Eddie, he had a problematic past with law enforcement, and he had been cast as the 'bad boy' (now would be a reasonable time to debate why Eddie and Odette, who both had problems with the law, were dealt with so differently on the show...financial backgrounds maybe? But, you know, I'm too distracted by Beckett's hair).

Beckett and Castle interview Odette's brother (I think?), and he says that he was pleased that she had been behaving so much better, and that she had stopped using drugs. She was still rich, but after a recent brush with death (a literal train wreck) she had apparently cleaned up her act. At this point in the episode, I couldn't help but wonder how Beckett would deal with this news---would she be reminded of her "brush with death"? Would it help her realize that she should make changes in her life (i.e. get with Castle)? I was a little disappointed when none of this was addressed, but then I saw the promo for next week's episode and I realized that they are addressing all of those things then. Guess they didn't want to jump the gun.

But, I digress. Odette's financial adviser and a bunch of other people reference the fact that she used to make crazy purchases (paying for a friend's plastic surgery, shopping sprees, etc.) when she was using drugs, and that all of that had stopped after the accident. However, recently those purchases had started up again.

Beckett is not convinced, because she notices that Odette bought only clothing, and that the clothing was in a size four (not Odette's size). Castle remembers his glory, college days, and how he would let other people use the gas card his mother gave him in exchange for cash. He suggests that Odette was buying clothing for her friends in order to get cash so that she could pay for drugs. All this seems rather logical, except that it isn't right. Instead, it turns out that Odette was buying all the clothes for an assistant on the show--because the assistant had overheard part of a fight and Odette was worried she would tell someone about it (can you say blackmail?).

Castle and Beckett approach the guy that Odette was fighting with. He admits that he saw Odette shooting up (presumably heroin), but that he had promised her he would keep it a secret if she stopped. He knew if her drug use was discovered she would get kicked off the show. But, then he caught her again, and when he threatened to expose her she said she would tell the producers he had kept it a secret the first time, and that he would be fired too. Hence, the fight.

Ryan and Esposito search Odette's apartment, and discover syringes. Only problem is, Odette didn't have any drugs in her system when she died. And those syringes? They're filled with insulin. Which is bizarre because A) Odette wasn't diabetic and B) Most people don't hide their insulin in false-bottom boxes.

Anyway, we suddenly find out something big! Odette wasn't really Odette. The real Odette died in the train crash, and the faux-dette (I swear, they call her that, I'm not just stealing ideas from 'Fringe' by myself) is really an ex-foster kid named Barbara. Castle immediately posits a "twins separated at birth" story. As he explains, these stories rarely end happily, except for the 'Parent Trap'. Beckett is buying this explanation, because, seriously, the women look identical. But then, a twist! Their DNA doesn't match!

Eventually, our detectives (with much help from Castle) figure out what really happened: Odette was getting arrested a lot, and she was being assigned community service. Clearly, she didn't want to do it. So, when she saw a stripper who looked a lot like her, she paid for her to have plastic surgery (see, not all those drug-addled purchases were nonsensical!) to look more like her. And then, tada!, Barbara looks just like Odette (I can't imagine it's really that simple, but for the sake of this plot, I'll go with it).

Ah ha! Beckett and Castle discuss their childhood dreams. Or rather, Castle asks Beckett about her childhood dreams. And she tells him that she was studying to be a lawyer before her mother's murder. This completely confused me, because I thought Beckett was planning on being an actress. Then I realized I was mixing up TV 'Castle' with trashy book 'Castle' (yes, I've used "trashy" twice in this synopsis, and it was worth it. And yes, I have just admitted to reading these books).

We of course get swept into a big debate about who the killer was really trying to murder; Odette or Barbara? For a while we get flung a red herring in the shape of Barbara's ex-boyfriend, who was a not very good guy (drug dealer?) who turned out to be kind of a good guy (he actually loved Barbara). Basically, he's irrelevant. Clearly didn't do it.

Immediately we think of the money: did Odette's brother murder Odette (or Barbara, thinking she was Odette, or Barbara knowing she was Barbara)? It gets a bit convoluted for a minute. Or was it the butler (Apparently all rich families now have butlers, and why was this man never interviewed before)?

To cut a long story short (way too late, I know) faux-dette wasn't murdered by any of these people! Turns out several years ago she had an affair with the financial adviser, and he helped her murder her grandfather. She then abandoned him for greener (younger) pastures. But he still loved Odette, and when he realized that Barbara was an impersonator, he got angry and shot her. So, that's that.

This episode also had a storyline involving Alexis in the morgue. Come on, people (Andrew Marlowe, I'm looking at you). No police department would ever, ever let an untrained minor handle evidence that might be used in a court of law! Seriously!

We also dealt briefly with Esposito and Ryan recognizing that Ryan's flirting days were over--women could smell the "happily married" on him. Even when he gave Esposito his wedding band to wear, Esposito still got more women. This was one of the weakest episodes this season for these guys. Honestly, I didn't care much if the ladies still like Ryan. Also, I don't care if Esposito gets Ryan's wedding ring stuck on his finger. This is a scenario we've all seen before, and it works way better in romantic comedies ('My Best Friend's Wedding', 'The Family Stone', etc.). Ryan and Esposito can be fun to watch, but in this particular case they just felt like filler.

Another pointless filler in this episode was the subplot involving Castle's mother. Apparently she got a horrible theater review when she was young, but now she wants the reviewer to write something lovely about her acting school. I'm not sure why we're supposed to care, but you can imagine how that goes if it matters to you.

I am happy about one thing. This episode of 'Castle' was light and fluffy, which is something that the show does particuarly well. Considering the fact that next week's episode looks like (excuse my pun) an actual train wreck for our characters, I'm glad we had something a little mindless this week.

Also, did anyone else think dead Odette looked way too much like Beckett?

HIMYM: The Broath

Barney makes Ted swear a "broath" (bro oath, obviously) while wearing a "brobe" (bro robe, for those who haven't caught on). You see, Barney really likes Quinn, and he is going to invite the gang to meet her during dinner. However, he's worried about how the gang is going to react to the fact that Quinn is a stripper, so he asks Ted to promise not to tell them. Of course, Ted promises and then immediately tells the gang.

The group decides that they will try to figure out if Quinn is really trying to take advantage of Barney and his money. During the dinner they discover a couple of things. 

1. Quinn is super controlling of Barney. Or, at least, the gang sees it that way. Is it possible that they have just never seen Barney take anyone else's opinions under consideration. Remember the past episode when Robin was dating Kevin (Kal Penn) and we saw the gang from his perspective? My point is, on this show you never know if what you're seeing is "real".

2. Quinn is moving out of her rent-controlled apartment. Since Robin and Ted let Marshall and Lily have the apartment, they haven't had a place to live. Of course, they can't live together because of the whole "Ted still loves Robin, and for both their sakes they can't live together" thing. Both Robin and Ted are living in awkward situations (Ted's living in student housing, and Robin is staying with her controlling co-worker), so they really want to sublet Quinn's apartment. It instantly becomes a competition.

3. Marshall loves to tell sex stories. Unfortunately, the only woman he has ever had sex with is Lily, so that makes it a little...awkward...for the rest of the gang.

4. There are tickets for an expensive trip to Hawaii in the apartment.

5. Quinn and Barney are moving in together.

Per usual, the gang holds an intervention (make that a "Quinntervention") to tell Barney that he is making a big mistake moving in with Quinn. In the middle of the intervention ("Quinntervention"), right when the gang is telling Barney that Quinn is clearly taking advantage of his money (note: the Hawaii trip), Quinn walks in. It turns out she bought him the trip as a surprise.

But, when Quinn hears that Barney made Ted promise to hide the fact that she is a stripper, she decides that maybe they are moving too fast. She believes that Barney isn't accepting of who she really is. And she does sort of have a point. 

Quinn and Barney's relationship may be ruined, but Robin and Ted are more devastated about the fact that they've lost the sublet. The break-up does cause Robin and Ted to address their problems. Robin admits that she really misses Ted's friendship, and that she is super stressed at work and may be losing her job. She explains that she lost everything in one day.

The gang feels horrible about ending Quinn and Barney's relationship, and they go to apologize. He makes them do a "broath", while wearing robes, in a darkened room lit with candles. He even makes Lily and Robin kiss, and Marshall and Ted kiss. But, at the end of the "broath", the lights turn on and Quinn is standing there. 

It turns out Quinn and Barney orchestrated the whole thing. Quinn purposefully acted like a bitch, Barney purposefully acted submissive, and they purposefully decided to make Ted and Robin fight. (That last one was really all Quinn, as Barney said, she's "as evil" as he is). 

At the end though, Barney and Quinn decide that they really do want to move in together. Barney admits that he is not necessarily okay with Quinn stripping, and he asks what would make her stop:

"Hypothetically, what would make you stop?"-Barney

"Hypothetically, I would stop stripping if I ever got married."-Quinn

'HIMYM' stop taunting us with the whole "who is Barney's wife" storyline. We already have a "who is Ted's wife" storyline. Must you be so annoyingly convoluted?

Robin and Ted talk, and realize things have gotten really weird between them. They meet at the bar to discuss. Robyn informs Ted that she just got a big promotion, and that she is now Sandy River's co-host. So, yay! Robyn is not fired. Because she is now making more money, she can afford a nicer apartment, and lets Ted take Quinn's sublet. Ted admits that he does miss their friendship, and promises that things will go back to normal. Robyn smiles and thanks him, but things quickly become awkward and she gets up to leave. As he is walking away, Ted's voice-over states that this was the last time he saw Robyn for a long time. But why? Where is she going? I don't think 'HIMYM' would be any good without Cobie Smulders!

Anyway, there is a sweet moment between Lily and Marshall where she gives him permission to make up a third-base thing with a different woman. Believe me, it's sweeter than it sounds. 

So, what's going to happen next week? Will we find out if Robin is gone, or if she and Ted are just estranged? Will Quinn feature as prominently as this week? Becki Newton, who plays Quinn, is only signed up for a short episode arc, so who knows!

It's Season 7, Episode 19 and Lily is still pregnant!

'New Girl' Play by Play: "Injured" Recap

Minute one: Jess hurts Nick by tackling him while playing football. Apparently, he doesn't have insurance. Oh, and after that, we learn that Winston has a really beat-up car (B story-line!).

Minute two:
Jess takes Nick to be examined by Sadie, because he doesn't have insurance.
Is Sadie a gynecologist?-Nick
No, she's an OBGYN. Different thing.-Jess

Minute four:
Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.-Sadie
Oh yes, she tried to steal my overalls.-Jess

Minute five: Nick has a growth in his throat. Sadie says that he needs to have it checked out, and tells Jess to force him to go. (I'm vaguely confused by this, since my first thought is that it's an enlarged lymph node...but, I'll accept it, because clearly this is necessary for plot development).

Minute six: Jess apparently doesn't know how a fetus fits into the uterus. This is funnier than it sounds.

Minute eight: Nick clearly doesn't like doctors. At all. Also, Winston loves his really trashy car way too much.

Minute nine: Jess has told the boys about Nick's neck growth. Clearly they're all worried he'll die...but they're not too serious about it. They all stare at him seriously as he bar-tends.

Minute ten:
I wish I could trade places with you, I would do it in a second. I'm also really glad I can't.-Schmidt

Minute twelve: Nick gets high on pain pills, and tells Jess she can't speak at his funeral because she isn't "real". Clearly she's upset about this.

Minute fourteen: Schmidt and Cece are rapping.

Minute fifteen: Annoyed Jess disses Nick, and tells him he has never done anything.

Minute sixteen: Jess takes Nick to the ocean so that he can run into it fully dressed. Apparently this is something unusual for him, which is why it matters (or something). Funniest moment comes when drunk Schmidt yells about Nick showing the ocean his penis before he shows him. Schmidt is not okay with this.

Minute twenty-one: Nick yells at Jess because he's upset and worried that he might not actually be okay.

"I don't think this is the right time to bring this up guys, but does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds."-Schmidt

Minute twenty-two: Cece is really opening up to Schmidt. She just talked about her dad dying when she was twelve. Shortly afterward, Schmidt makes her laugh...maybe they are a good couple.

Minute twenty-three: Nick tells Jess that he likes her a lot, and that he's glad she's around. He also points out that he probably won't remember since he'll black out.

Minute twenty-four: They all sleep on the beach. Nick wakes up first, and yells at everyone to get up so that they can go to his appointment.

Minute twenty-seven:  At his appointment, Nick finds out he doesn't have cancer. He also finds out that his friends paid for the cost of the appointment, because he doesn't have health insurance. Aww.

Minute twenty-nine: Nick and Jess have a moment alone, and he asks her what happened. She smiles, and tells him nothing. It was enough of a moment that I wondered if maybe something had happened between the characters off-screen. Damn, there's chemistry there that the writers are going to have to take advantage of at some point.

Also, this is happening.

HIMYM: Karma

I was thrilled with last week's episode for one reason: Ted and Robin did not get back together. Thank God! I could maintain the illusion that Barney and Robin were going to rekindle their relationship. Unfortunately, that illusion was short-lived. In tonight's episode Barney moved closer to a serious relationship with Quinn (Becki Newton), and further away from Robin. No! Say it isn't true!

Oh, wait, look...they're kissing. Okay, so it's true. For now. My guess is that the Quinn/Barney relationship will continue during the rest of this season, but that it will by over by the time the season ends. After all, Becki Newton is one of the lead roles in the new FOX comedy pilot 'The Goodwin Games'. Take that, Quinn! I suppose it should be said that the creators of 'HIMYM' (Craig Thomas and Carter Bays) are also the creators of this new show, so they never designed Quinn to be long-term. I hope this also means that they didn't design her to be Barney's wife (remember that flashback from earlier this season, where we found out that Barney was tying the knot?). Finally, I hope that if 'The Goodwin Games' gets picked up it is less circuitous and irritating than 'HIMYM'.

In tonight's episode, Barney found out that Quinn was a stripper. Not only that, but she was a stripper at the strip club that he frequents.

WHAT?! Eh, it makes sense. I never look at their faces.

"Everywhere I go I see her...I see her dancing on that pole!"-Barney
"I see her dancing on that pole too"-Ted

Quinn manipulates Barney into paying her for multiple lap dances ($900 worth!), while he impatiently waits to see if she will go out on a real date. He refuses to see the manipulation, even though Ted sees it (and come on, it's Ted. He never notices anything). Instead, Barney emphatically states that he is "in love" with Quinn. Ted's a tad shocked, mainly because Barney is stealing his line, but also because Barney has never openly admitted to loving anyone. In his shock, Ted manages to break a chair. But it's all good, because he can probably make the empty bedroom into a woodworking shop. See, ever since Robin left he has been trying to come up with another use of the room...he's already steamed meat, so maybe woodworking is the next logical move.

Barney believes that he is dating Quinn for most of the episode, despite the fact that she pulls almost every move from his own playbook. At the end of the episode, they run into each other at a coffee shop, and have their first real date.

In other news, Robin is living with Lily and Marshall now, since she had to leave her former apartment since she isn't actually in love with Ted, and living with a guy who loves you that you don't love? Awkward. 


Despite the fact that Robin hates Long Island, she feels herself trapped there. Mainly because Lily and Marshall are doing everything in their power to keep her there. Turns out they really hate Long Island, and they just wanted a friend to move out there with them. Robin points out that she'd rather set herself on fire.

At the end of this episode there actually is a twist that will make the whole series look different: Ted moves out of his apartment. But don't worry, the apartment isn't gone! Instead, he gives the apartment to Lily and Marshall, and sets Robin's old room up for their baby. Pretty adorable.

Huh, guess that girl I slept with really is a stripper!

New Girl: Bully. Play By Play.

Minute one: Did Schmidt just have sex with Cece and call her a canoe? Oh good, I heard right: apparently she's the canoe on his "body river". Good to know.

Minute one: Is Schmidt still taking? And did they really have sex at least three times? Yes and yes.

Minute two: "Oh my God, you slept with the same girl two nights in a row? ...did she wear a disguise?"-Jess, re: Schmidt's repeat sleepover guest (Cece!).

Minute two: Is anyone else supremely grossed out by the fact that Jess just unwittingly referred to her best friend as a "ho"?

Minute two: Schmidt doesn't parade his girls around?!

Minute two: So Schmidt does parade his girls around like trophies. That makes way more sense.

Minute two: Hitler comments are always awkward. And never funny. Even in this context. Sorry, 'New Girl' writers.

Minute three: Jess is not a good liar.

Minute three: Those horizontal stripes are not attractive. They wouldn't look good on anyone.

Minute four: "Did the cactus tell you that?"-Winston, re: Julia breaking up with Nick by mailing him a cactus

Minute five: Junk mail, get it?

Minute five: Does anyone else think that Cece is faking Schmidt out, and doesn't really want to sleep with him again?

Minute six: WTF, who allows children to use cell phones in a classroom? To videotape? Or do anything?

Minute seven: Huh. Maybe Cece is serious. She is very confusing.

Minute seven: "I'm like a sexual snowflake."-Schmidt, re: not having sex in a car.

Minute eight: I don't buy for a second that Jess would be that excited about a crescent moon. Winston, maybe.

Minute nine: This is awkward. Also, I don't understand why Julia sent Nick a cactus to begin with.

Minute ten: Schmidt is now using cheese references as foreplay. And it's working. Huh, I guess he and Cece are the perfect couple.

Minute eleven: The little girl Briana has the same haircut as Paige from 'Brothers and Sisters', and it's distracting me. I know they're not the same person. At least, I think they're not. (Googled: definitely not).

Minute twelve: "Are you barren, Ms. Day? And why is your voice so deep, like a man's? Your happiness seems like a mask."-Briana, re: Jess' problems.

Minute twelve: I really don't think that Nick should bring up babies right after he accidentally left a voicemail telling his girlfriend that he loved her. Haven't they been dating for like, two weeks?

Minute thirteen: Oh look. They broke up.

Minute thirteen: Jess accidentally broke Briana's robot arm, and now she is fixing it. Maybe.

Minute fourteen: Nick just said "sad face". In a sentence. Man has more problems than just a break-up.

Minute fifteen: Cece won't let Schmidt into a party with tons of people, but she'll eat breakfast with him? Seems suspect.

Minute eighteen: Jess admits to breaking the robot arm, but the principal doesn't care because now Jess is one of them: "a kid hater". Segue, Rachael Harris who plays the principal is in that new movie "Natural Selection", which looks kind of good. She also has dark-rimmed glasses in that. Does she always wear them? (Googled: looks like she wears them a lot).

Minute nineteen: Cece makes Schmidt take her to a random dim sum place for breakfast. I know she wanted to keep hiding it!

Minute twenty: Cece does let Schmid tell the restaurant. He goes a little overboard with that attempted wall flip.

Minute twenty-one: Jess gives Nick a real plant. Is this a symbol of things to come? You just both admitted you're weirdos. Hook up now please.

Minute twenty-one: I love that Jess wrote multiple comments on her own video. I also love Nick's facial expression when he hears the comment "I'd like to grade her a curve", because I think he kind of agrees. Come on, people, why else would he care so much and Jess dropping a hundred condoms in front of Schmidt's room last week?!

Jess admires her own comments