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Showing posts with label jake johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jake johnson. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Couples That Aren't Together...Yet
All of us have friends, or at least acquaintances, who we think would be perfect together. If we could only use forceful matchmaking skills, and make them date, all would be good in the world. Well, forcing friends together is a tad...difficult. TV characters, on the other hand, get forced together all the time. Here are a few current TV characters who should be dating, will probably date in the future, but haven't been forced together yet by the shows' writers.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
New Girl Play by Play: Fancyman
Minute zero: Jess compares buying a phone to buying a car and/or buying a bra. Apparently she has had hers for 8 years.
Also, Nick has a 250 credit score. Which is ridiculously low. As Jess points out, "you get 150 for being alive".
Minute one: Winston's girlfriend is a little too enamored by Schmidt's pub knowledge.
Jess just curtsied for a student's father. Awkward! (Also, oh look, he's played by Dermot Mulroney!)
Minute two: Jess to a student's father: "Condoms are harder to take off than I thought. I've always put them on, but I guess someone else has always taken them off". Awkward!
Minute three: Jess is annoyed that the student's dad told her that his daughter can't do creative time. Apparently he is also a little weirded out by the fact that she wears dollheads around her neck (which, let's admit, is a tad bizarre).
Minute four: Tanya, the principal who ate a pot cookie in that one birthday episode, says that since Dermot is a big donor, Jess has to do what he says. Jess is less than pleased.
Minute seven: Winston is upset that Schmidt made him look stupid during trivia night. Also, Schmidt just called Winston the "dumber one".
Minute eight: Winston has decided that memorizing stats doesn't make someone smart.
Minute eight:
I hate groveling, I would have lasted two minutes in the court of the Sun King, I think about that all the time-Jess
You do?-Nick
Jess is worried that she won't be able to grovel enough for Dermot. And she thinks that she has to do some manipulative groveling, because she doesn't really want to apologize.
Minute nine: Winston thinks that a simple apology is enough.
Hey Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do. Your money doesn't own me.-Nick, suggesting what Jess should say to Dermot
Minute ten: Wait. Winston is actually working as a part-time nanny for that little kid from the Christmas party? Since when?
Minute eleven: Jess' car stalls right near Dermot's office. He calls to get a tow truck, and lets Jess borrow his car. He also invites her to a party at his house. Is it a date?
I wasn't raised with money, so when something broke we pretended it still worked-Jess
Minute sixteen: Oh look, it's Cece!
Rich people, they're always giving you their cars!-Jess, complaining about Dermot to Cece
You know me, I'm only attracted to guys...who think someone famous stole their idea-Jess
Minute seventeen: Winston is having nanny-kid quiz him with flashcards with random information.
Minute eighteen: Nick goes to the party with Jess, and she asks him to complain about all the rich people things in the house.
Minute nineteen: Nick is impressed by the fancy desk, and suddenly okay with rich people things.
Nick, when I put my hand on this desk I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life-Nick
Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born-Jess
Minute twenty: Dermot points out to Jess that changing her car's oil may not be a bad idea. And no, that's not a double entendre.
Jess, I'm 42. I've made a lot of moeny, and I enjoy spending it-Dermot (Yeah, okay, I just learned that his name is Russell, but whatever).
Minute twenty-one: Russell says he had a poor credit score at Nick's age, but that he then got a gift. Russell gives Nick a phone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?-Nick
Nick asks Russell why he's being nice to him, and learns it's because he's Jess' friend. So Russell/Dermot really does like Jess.
Minute twenty-two: the fancy Japanese toilet has a bidet built in, and Jess accidentally turns it on, and gets sprayed all over with water. Russell rushes in and has to help. He also tells her he would never revoke his donation to the school, but Jess runs off...I assume she is embarrassed? Not too sure, it went to a commercial break right as she was leaving.
Minute twenty-six: Jess drags Nick away and wants to leave because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Nick tells Jess that he is in love with Russell (He smells like strong coffee, and seeing a man about a horse-Nick).
Minute twenty-seven: Nick persuades Jess to go back inside.
Minute twenty-eight: Shelby doesn't want some rich guy who owns his own car, she wants Winston. Looks like Winston has a girlfriend!
Winston, I hope you're better in bed, because your street work is embarrassing-Schmidt
Minute twenty-nine: Jess admits that she isn't used to people having it all together, and that she is kind of scared by Russell.
Minute thirty: Russell asks Jess out, and she says yes. As she is walking away, she falls into the koi pond.
Also, Nick has a 250 credit score. Which is ridiculously low. As Jess points out, "you get 150 for being alive".
Minute one: Winston's girlfriend is a little too enamored by Schmidt's pub knowledge.
Jess just curtsied for a student's father. Awkward! (Also, oh look, he's played by Dermot Mulroney!)
Minute two: Jess to a student's father: "Condoms are harder to take off than I thought. I've always put them on, but I guess someone else has always taken them off". Awkward!
Minute three: Jess is annoyed that the student's dad told her that his daughter can't do creative time. Apparently he is also a little weirded out by the fact that she wears dollheads around her neck (which, let's admit, is a tad bizarre).
Minute four: Tanya, the principal who ate a pot cookie in that one birthday episode, says that since Dermot is a big donor, Jess has to do what he says. Jess is less than pleased.
Minute seven: Winston is upset that Schmidt made him look stupid during trivia night. Also, Schmidt just called Winston the "dumber one".
Minute eight: Winston has decided that memorizing stats doesn't make someone smart.
Minute eight:
I hate groveling, I would have lasted two minutes in the court of the Sun King, I think about that all the time-Jess
You do?-Nick
Jess is worried that she won't be able to grovel enough for Dermot. And she thinks that she has to do some manipulative groveling, because she doesn't really want to apologize.
Minute nine: Winston thinks that a simple apology is enough.
Hey Mr. Fancyman, you can't tell me what to do. Your money doesn't own me.-Nick, suggesting what Jess should say to Dermot
Minute ten: Wait. Winston is actually working as a part-time nanny for that little kid from the Christmas party? Since when?
Minute eleven: Jess' car stalls right near Dermot's office. He calls to get a tow truck, and lets Jess borrow his car. He also invites her to a party at his house. Is it a date?
I wasn't raised with money, so when something broke we pretended it still worked-Jess
Minute sixteen: Oh look, it's Cece!
Rich people, they're always giving you their cars!-Jess, complaining about Dermot to Cece
You know me, I'm only attracted to guys...who think someone famous stole their idea-Jess
Minute seventeen: Winston is having nanny-kid quiz him with flashcards with random information.
Minute eighteen: Nick goes to the party with Jess, and she asks him to complain about all the rich people things in the house.
Minute nineteen: Nick is impressed by the fancy desk, and suddenly okay with rich people things.
Nick, when I put my hand on this desk I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life-Nick
Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born-Jess
Minute twenty: Dermot points out to Jess that changing her car's oil may not be a bad idea. And no, that's not a double entendre.
Jess, I'm 42. I've made a lot of moeny, and I enjoy spending it-Dermot (Yeah, okay, I just learned that his name is Russell, but whatever).
Minute twenty-one: Russell says he had a poor credit score at Nick's age, but that he then got a gift. Russell gives Nick a phone.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to an object?-Nick
Nick asks Russell why he's being nice to him, and learns it's because he's Jess' friend. So Russell/Dermot really does like Jess.
Minute twenty-two: the fancy Japanese toilet has a bidet built in, and Jess accidentally turns it on, and gets sprayed all over with water. Russell rushes in and has to help. He also tells her he would never revoke his donation to the school, but Jess runs off...I assume she is embarrassed? Not too sure, it went to a commercial break right as she was leaving.
Minute twenty-six: Jess drags Nick away and wants to leave because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Nick tells Jess that he is in love with Russell (He smells like strong coffee, and seeing a man about a horse-Nick).
Minute twenty-seven: Nick persuades Jess to go back inside.
Minute twenty-eight: Shelby doesn't want some rich guy who owns his own car, she wants Winston. Looks like Winston has a girlfriend!
Winston, I hope you're better in bed, because your street work is embarrassing-Schmidt
Minute twenty-nine: Jess admits that she isn't used to people having it all together, and that she is kind of scared by Russell.
Minute thirty: Russell asks Jess out, and she says yes. As she is walking away, she falls into the koi pond.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
'New Girl' Play by Play: "Injured" Recap
Minute one: Jess hurts Nick by tackling him while playing football. Apparently, he doesn't have insurance. Oh, and after that, we learn that Winston has a really beat-up car (B story-line!).
Minute two:
Jess takes Nick to be examined by Sadie, because he doesn't have insurance.
Is Sadie a gynecologist?-Nick
No, she's an OBGYN. Different thing.-Jess
Minute four:
Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.-Sadie
Oh yes, she tried to steal my overalls.-Jess
Minute five: Nick has a growth in his throat. Sadie says that he needs to have it checked out, and tells Jess to force him to go. (I'm vaguely confused by this, since my first thought is that it's an enlarged lymph node...but, I'll accept it, because clearly this is necessary for plot development).
Minute six: Jess apparently doesn't know how a fetus fits into the uterus. This is funnier than it sounds.
Minute eight: Nick clearly doesn't like doctors. At all. Also, Winston loves his really trashy car way too much.
Minute nine: Jess has told the boys about Nick's neck growth. Clearly they're all worried he'll die...but they're not too serious about it. They all stare at him seriously as he bar-tends.
Minute ten:
I wish I could trade places with you, I would do it in a second. I'm also really glad I can't.-Schmidt
Minute twelve: Nick gets high on pain pills, and tells Jess she can't speak at his funeral because she isn't "real". Clearly she's upset about this.
Minute fourteen: Schmidt and Cece are rapping.
Minute fifteen: Annoyed Jess disses Nick, and tells him he has never done anything.
Minute sixteen: Jess takes Nick to the ocean so that he can run into it fully dressed. Apparently this is something unusual for him, which is why it matters (or something). Funniest moment comes when drunk Schmidt yells about Nick showing the ocean his penis before he shows him. Schmidt is not okay with this.
Minute twenty-one: Nick yells at Jess because he's upset and worried that he might not actually be okay.
"I don't think this is the right time to bring this up guys, but does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds."-Schmidt
Minute twenty-two: Cece is really opening up to Schmidt. She just talked about her dad dying when she was twelve. Shortly afterward, Schmidt makes her laugh...maybe they are a good couple.
Minute twenty-three: Nick tells Jess that he likes her a lot, and that he's glad she's around. He also points out that he probably won't remember since he'll black out.
Minute twenty-four: They all sleep on the beach. Nick wakes up first, and yells at everyone to get up so that they can go to his appointment.
Minute twenty-seven: At his appointment, Nick finds out he doesn't have cancer. He also finds out that his friends paid for the cost of the appointment, because he doesn't have health insurance. Aww.
Minute twenty-nine: Nick and Jess have a moment alone, and he asks her what happened. She smiles, and tells him nothing. It was enough of a moment that I wondered if maybe something had happened between the characters off-screen. Damn, there's chemistry there that the writers are going to have to take advantage of at some point.
Minute two:
Jess takes Nick to be examined by Sadie, because he doesn't have insurance.
Is Sadie a gynecologist?-Nick
No, she's an OBGYN. Different thing.-Jess
Minute four:
Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.-Sadie
Oh yes, she tried to steal my overalls.-Jess
Minute five: Nick has a growth in his throat. Sadie says that he needs to have it checked out, and tells Jess to force him to go. (I'm vaguely confused by this, since my first thought is that it's an enlarged lymph node...but, I'll accept it, because clearly this is necessary for plot development).
Minute six: Jess apparently doesn't know how a fetus fits into the uterus. This is funnier than it sounds.
Minute eight: Nick clearly doesn't like doctors. At all. Also, Winston loves his really trashy car way too much.
Minute nine: Jess has told the boys about Nick's neck growth. Clearly they're all worried he'll die...but they're not too serious about it. They all stare at him seriously as he bar-tends.
Minute ten:
I wish I could trade places with you, I would do it in a second. I'm also really glad I can't.-Schmidt
Minute twelve: Nick gets high on pain pills, and tells Jess she can't speak at his funeral because she isn't "real". Clearly she's upset about this.
Minute fourteen: Schmidt and Cece are rapping.
Minute fifteen: Annoyed Jess disses Nick, and tells him he has never done anything.
Minute sixteen: Jess takes Nick to the ocean so that he can run into it fully dressed. Apparently this is something unusual for him, which is why it matters (or something). Funniest moment comes when drunk Schmidt yells about Nick showing the ocean his penis before he shows him. Schmidt is not okay with this.
Minute twenty-one: Nick yells at Jess because he's upset and worried that he might not actually be okay.
"I don't think this is the right time to bring this up guys, but does anyone else think that Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds."-Schmidt
Minute twenty-two: Cece is really opening up to Schmidt. She just talked about her dad dying when she was twelve. Shortly afterward, Schmidt makes her laugh...maybe they are a good couple.
Minute twenty-three: Nick tells Jess that he likes her a lot, and that he's glad she's around. He also points out that he probably won't remember since he'll black out.
Minute twenty-four: They all sleep on the beach. Nick wakes up first, and yells at everyone to get up so that they can go to his appointment.
Minute twenty-seven: At his appointment, Nick finds out he doesn't have cancer. He also finds out that his friends paid for the cost of the appointment, because he doesn't have health insurance. Aww.
Minute twenty-nine: Nick and Jess have a moment alone, and he asks her what happened. She smiles, and tells him nothing. It was enough of a moment that I wondered if maybe something had happened between the characters off-screen. Damn, there's chemistry there that the writers are going to have to take advantage of at some point.
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| Also, this is happening. |
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
New Girl: Bully. Play By Play.
Minute one: Did Schmidt just have sex with Cece and call her a canoe? Oh good, I heard right: apparently she's the canoe on his "body river". Good to know.
Minute one: Is Schmidt still taking? And did they really have sex at least three times? Yes and yes.
Minute two: "Oh my God, you slept with the same girl two nights in a row? ...did she wear a disguise?"-Jess, re: Schmidt's repeat sleepover guest (Cece!).
Minute two: Is anyone else supremely grossed out by the fact that Jess just unwittingly referred to her best friend as a "ho"?
Minute two: Schmidt doesn't parade his girls around?!
Minute two: So Schmidt does parade his girls around like trophies. That makes way more sense.
Minute two: Hitler comments are always awkward. And never funny. Even in this context. Sorry, 'New Girl' writers.
Minute three: Jess is not a good liar.
Minute three: Those horizontal stripes are not attractive. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
Minute four: "Did the cactus tell you that?"-Winston, re: Julia breaking up with Nick by mailing him a cactus
Minute five: Junk mail, get it?
Minute five: Does anyone else think that Cece is faking Schmidt out, and doesn't really want to sleep with him again?
Minute six: WTF, who allows children to use cell phones in a classroom? To videotape? Or do anything?
Minute seven: Huh. Maybe Cece is serious. She is very confusing.
Minute seven: "I'm like a sexual snowflake."-Schmidt, re: not having sex in a car.
Minute eight: I don't buy for a second that Jess would be that excited about a crescent moon. Winston, maybe.
Minute nine: This is awkward. Also, I don't understand why Julia sent Nick a cactus to begin with.
Minute ten: Schmidt is now using cheese references as foreplay. And it's working. Huh, I guess he and Cece are the perfect couple.
Minute eleven: The little girl Briana has the same haircut as Paige from 'Brothers and Sisters', and it's distracting me. I know they're not the same person. At least, I think they're not. (Googled: definitely not).
Minute twelve: "Are you barren, Ms. Day? And why is your voice so deep, like a man's? Your happiness seems like a mask."-Briana, re: Jess' problems.
Minute twelve: I really don't think that Nick should bring up babies right after he accidentally left a voicemail telling his girlfriend that he loved her. Haven't they been dating for like, two weeks?
Minute thirteen: Oh look. They broke up.
Minute thirteen: Jess accidentally broke Briana's robot arm, and now she is fixing it. Maybe.
Minute fourteen: Nick just said "sad face". In a sentence. Man has more problems than just a break-up.
Minute fifteen: Cece won't let Schmidt into a party with tons of people, but she'll eat breakfast with him? Seems suspect.
Minute eighteen: Jess admits to breaking the robot arm, but the principal doesn't care because now Jess is one of them: "a kid hater". Segue, Rachael Harris who plays the principal is in that new movie "Natural Selection", which looks kind of good. She also has dark-rimmed glasses in that. Does she always wear them? (Googled: looks like she wears them a lot).
Minute nineteen: Cece makes Schmidt take her to a random dim sum place for breakfast. I know she wanted to keep hiding it!
Minute twenty: Cece does let Schmid tell the restaurant. He goes a little overboard with that attempted wall flip.
Minute twenty-one: Jess gives Nick a real plant. Is this a symbol of things to come? You just both admitted you're weirdos. Hook up now please.
Minute twenty-one: I love that Jess wrote multiple comments on her own video. I also love Nick's facial expression when he hears the comment "I'd like to grade her a curve", because I think he kind of agrees. Come on, people, why else would he care so much and Jess dropping a hundred condoms in front of Schmidt's room last week?!
Minute one: Is Schmidt still taking? And did they really have sex at least three times? Yes and yes.
Minute two: "Oh my God, you slept with the same girl two nights in a row? ...did she wear a disguise?"-Jess, re: Schmidt's repeat sleepover guest (Cece!).
Minute two: Is anyone else supremely grossed out by the fact that Jess just unwittingly referred to her best friend as a "ho"?
Minute two: Schmidt doesn't parade his girls around?!
Minute two: So Schmidt does parade his girls around like trophies. That makes way more sense.
Minute two: Hitler comments are always awkward. And never funny. Even in this context. Sorry, 'New Girl' writers.
Minute three: Jess is not a good liar.
Minute three: Those horizontal stripes are not attractive. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
Minute four: "Did the cactus tell you that?"-Winston, re: Julia breaking up with Nick by mailing him a cactus
Minute five: Junk mail, get it?
Minute five: Does anyone else think that Cece is faking Schmidt out, and doesn't really want to sleep with him again?
Minute six: WTF, who allows children to use cell phones in a classroom? To videotape? Or do anything?
Minute seven: Huh. Maybe Cece is serious. She is very confusing.
Minute seven: "I'm like a sexual snowflake."-Schmidt, re: not having sex in a car.
Minute eight: I don't buy for a second that Jess would be that excited about a crescent moon. Winston, maybe.
Minute nine: This is awkward. Also, I don't understand why Julia sent Nick a cactus to begin with.
Minute ten: Schmidt is now using cheese references as foreplay. And it's working. Huh, I guess he and Cece are the perfect couple.
Minute eleven: The little girl Briana has the same haircut as Paige from 'Brothers and Sisters', and it's distracting me. I know they're not the same person. At least, I think they're not. (Googled: definitely not).
Minute twelve: "Are you barren, Ms. Day? And why is your voice so deep, like a man's? Your happiness seems like a mask."-Briana, re: Jess' problems.
Minute twelve: I really don't think that Nick should bring up babies right after he accidentally left a voicemail telling his girlfriend that he loved her. Haven't they been dating for like, two weeks?
Minute thirteen: Oh look. They broke up.
Minute thirteen: Jess accidentally broke Briana's robot arm, and now she is fixing it. Maybe.
Minute fourteen: Nick just said "sad face". In a sentence. Man has more problems than just a break-up.
Minute fifteen: Cece won't let Schmidt into a party with tons of people, but she'll eat breakfast with him? Seems suspect.
Minute eighteen: Jess admits to breaking the robot arm, but the principal doesn't care because now Jess is one of them: "a kid hater". Segue, Rachael Harris who plays the principal is in that new movie "Natural Selection", which looks kind of good. She also has dark-rimmed glasses in that. Does she always wear them? (Googled: looks like she wears them a lot).
Minute nineteen: Cece makes Schmidt take her to a random dim sum place for breakfast. I know she wanted to keep hiding it!
Minute twenty: Cece does let Schmid tell the restaurant. He goes a little overboard with that attempted wall flip.
Minute twenty-one: Jess gives Nick a real plant. Is this a symbol of things to come? You just both admitted you're weirdos. Hook up now please.
Minute twenty-one: I love that Jess wrote multiple comments on her own video. I also love Nick's facial expression when he hears the comment "I'd like to grade her a curve", because I think he kind of agrees. Come on, people, why else would he care so much and Jess dropping a hundred condoms in front of Schmidt's room last week?!
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| Jess admires her own comments |
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
New Girl Play By Play: "Valentine's Day" Recap
'New Girl' Play By Play: "Valentine's Day"
Minute one: Schmidt has already said "holla".
Minute two: First dates on Valentine's Day are a bad idea. Even Schmidt knows this. Get a clue, Winston.
Minute two: Is one night sex the new one night stand?
Minute three: Did Jess just refer to her vagina as "little Jess"? Huh.
Minute five: "Bombing emotionally" is not good one night stand material.
Minute six: Schmidt and Cece make a great team. They both like the Phantom Tollbooth! Clearly they're soulmates.
Minute eight: Cece's boyfriend is high on magic mushrooms. Time to break up?
Minute eleven: Schmidt doesn't trust the youths in Jess' potential one night stand's sketchy neighborhood. He kinda has a point.
Minute eleven: Does anyone else think Schmidt has been suspiciously insightful this episode?
Minute sixteen: Everyone is fighting. Everyone. (Except not Julia and Nick, cause they have some weird/not so important B-story going on)
Minute nineteen: Schmidt just carried Cece out of the fight over his shoulder.
Minute twenty-two: Making out while someone is eating tacos is pretty tricky.
Minute twenty-three: That random hook-up guy isn't a web creator, and Jess isn't a player. Boy, what a surprise.
Minute twenty-three: Is Nick going to work for Julia's law firm now? Because that is not a good idea. Ever.
Minute twenty-four: Does anyone else think that Jess and Julia are looking more and more like each other with each new episode? Boy has a type.
Minute twenty-five: Now this is getting depressing (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-five: Depression resolved (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-six: Sometimes I actually want Schmidt and Jess to get together. Weird.
Minute twenty-six: And now she is actually thinking about having sex with him. Is this actually going to happen?
Minute twenty-seven: Oh wait, here's Nick. Ugh, I actually kind of wanted that to happen. Now I feel guilty saying that.
Minute twenty-seven: Oh good, Cece is having sex with Schmidt. The fact that Jess and Cece have similar taste in men is vaguely disturbing. I mean, they both wanted to sleep with him cause he smells good?!
Minute thirty: Jess calls Cece on the phone. She's telling Cece that she almost slept with Schmidt. But Cece is in bed with him. Awkward.
Minute one: Schmidt has already said "holla".
Minute two: First dates on Valentine's Day are a bad idea. Even Schmidt knows this. Get a clue, Winston.
Minute two: Is one night sex the new one night stand?
Minute three: Did Jess just refer to her vagina as "little Jess"? Huh.
Minute five: "Bombing emotionally" is not good one night stand material.
Minute six: Schmidt and Cece make a great team. They both like the Phantom Tollbooth! Clearly they're soulmates.
Minute eight: Cece's boyfriend is high on magic mushrooms. Time to break up?
Minute eleven: Schmidt doesn't trust the youths in Jess' potential one night stand's sketchy neighborhood. He kinda has a point.
Minute eleven: Does anyone else think Schmidt has been suspiciously insightful this episode?
Minute sixteen: Everyone is fighting. Everyone. (Except not Julia and Nick, cause they have some weird/not so important B-story going on)
Minute nineteen: Schmidt just carried Cece out of the fight over his shoulder.
Minute twenty-two: Making out while someone is eating tacos is pretty tricky.
Minute twenty-three: That random hook-up guy isn't a web creator, and Jess isn't a player. Boy, what a surprise.
Minute twenty-three: Is Nick going to work for Julia's law firm now? Because that is not a good idea. Ever.
Minute twenty-four: Does anyone else think that Jess and Julia are looking more and more like each other with each new episode? Boy has a type.
Minute twenty-five: Now this is getting depressing (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-five: Depression resolved (re: Winston and potential girlfriend).
Minute twenty-six: Sometimes I actually want Schmidt and Jess to get together. Weird.
Minute twenty-six: And now she is actually thinking about having sex with him. Is this actually going to happen?
Minute twenty-seven: Oh wait, here's Nick. Ugh, I actually kind of wanted that to happen. Now I feel guilty saying that.
Minute twenty-seven: Oh good, Cece is having sex with Schmidt. The fact that Jess and Cece have similar taste in men is vaguely disturbing. I mean, they both wanted to sleep with him cause he smells good?!
Minute thirty: Jess calls Cece on the phone. She's telling Cece that she almost slept with Schmidt. But Cece is in bed with him. Awkward.
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| Apparently at some point Jess is going to make out with this guy. |
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
'New Girl' Play By Play: "The Landlord" Recap
'New Girl' Play By Play: "The Landlord"
Minute one: Jess and Nick seem to spend a lot of time driving around in cars. By themselves. This episode is no exception.
Minute two: Schmidt believes that the world is trying to seduce him. What else is new?
Minute three: Nick's 'pouch' is mentioned again. Which is weird, because Jake Johnson is sexy.
Minute four: Does this scene in the basement remind anyone else of when Emily Deschanel went to see her creepy janitor friend in the 'Bones' high school reunion episode?
Minute five: Jess references four roommates when only three are allowed. Does this remind anyone else of the 'Friends' episode where Jennifer Aniston let it slip to her landlord that she was living with Courtney Cox?
Minute sixteen: Remy (landlord guy) and Jess decide they are going to have dinner together. Nick interjects that he'll come too. Clearly someone's not happy sharing his future gf.
Minute twenty-three: Three-some, anyone? (See, even Remy thinks that Jess and Nick are doing it)
Minute twenty-six: "So this is happening, with...this guy. This is happening, Jess". Three-some time!
Minute twenty-seven: "US two...getting it started". Jess feels awkward about kissing Nick. So, that doesn't happen.
Minute twenty-nine: Schmidt is kind of, sort of right about the whole boss/crush thing. Except not really.
Read a more thorough description of tonight's episode HERE.
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| Eh, not so sexy in this photo. |
'New Girl': "The Landlord"
If we're learned anything from 'New Girl', it's that Nick is often right, and Jess is often wrong. That's why they're perfect for each other! But, I digress.
On tonight's episode, initially Nick was once again right, and Jess was once again wrong. See, the gang has this really cranky landlord man, and Nick realizes a friendship with a person like that is pretty tricky to navigate. Jess, on the other hand, who likes polka dots, and singing, and playing with glitter, finds it pretty difficult to accept the fact that someone won't like her. Which is funny, because last week's episode was all about someone (Julia) not liking her.
Despite the fact that she didn't try very hard with Julia (don't tell me that passive-agressive crocheting really resolved anything), Jess is apparently determined to get curmudgeonly old landlord to like her. Mainly because she's a MPDG. But also, she is kind of a nice person (for the most part, except when she may possibly steal Julia's boyfriend in the future).
Weirdly, by the time the first 10 minutes of the episode has passed, Jess already has the landlord eating out of the palm of her hand (that sounds weird, I just mean that he's willing to fix things for her, but not for Nick).
Except, he really has a crush on her, and apparently things that Jess and Nick's joint attention means that they want a threesome. Which they don't. Except neither one of them is willing to admit this, because it would also mean admitting that the other person was initially right about the landlord.
Eventually, when Nick is about to kiss Jess to get the threesome underway, she caves and tells him that he was right.
He always is.
On tonight's episode, initially Nick was once again right, and Jess was once again wrong. See, the gang has this really cranky landlord man, and Nick realizes a friendship with a person like that is pretty tricky to navigate. Jess, on the other hand, who likes polka dots, and singing, and playing with glitter, finds it pretty difficult to accept the fact that someone won't like her. Which is funny, because last week's episode was all about someone (Julia) not liking her.
Despite the fact that she didn't try very hard with Julia (don't tell me that passive-agressive crocheting really resolved anything), Jess is apparently determined to get curmudgeonly old landlord to like her. Mainly because she's a MPDG. But also, she is kind of a nice person (for the most part, except when she may possibly steal Julia's boyfriend in the future).
Weirdly, by the time the first 10 minutes of the episode has passed, Jess already has the landlord eating out of the palm of her hand (that sounds weird, I just mean that he's willing to fix things for her, but not for Nick).
Except, he really has a crush on her, and apparently things that Jess and Nick's joint attention means that they want a threesome. Which they don't. Except neither one of them is willing to admit this, because it would also mean admitting that the other person was initially right about the landlord.
Eventually, when Nick is about to kiss Jess to get the threesome underway, she caves and tells him that he was right.
He always is.
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| All right, so he's not really that old (see man on left) |
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
'New Girl' Christmas Episode ('The 23rd') Recap
"Why are you guys hugging?"-Jess
"Just guy talking."-Nick
"About, uh...how moved we are by jazz music"-Paul
"Just guy talking."-Nick
"About, uh...how moved we are by jazz music"-Paul
"That's a lie. I told him you didn't love him, Jess."-Nick
"What?!"-Jess
"But he said it nicely!"-Paul
The episode began with a cute roommate moment minus Jess (unfortunately these Jess-less/bro-time moments are a rarity). The guys are all wearing roller skates that Jess has given them for Christmas, and Schmidt starts a bro-fight (how many times can I use 'bro' in this post?) because he is apparently the best skater since he had figure skating lessons till he was thirteen.
Jess realizes that she needs to buy Paul a gift, but they've only been dating for about a month, and so she is clueless about what's appropriate. She takes Nick shopping with her, solidifying the fact that he is the guy she trusts the most (can they please hook up already). Apparently she was going to give Paul a homemade nerdy sex gift certificate, but decided it was too ridiculous. She shows it to Nick and he snatches it from her, stating he'll keep it for the future (yeahhh, he'll use that in the future).
Schmidt reminds the group they all have to come to his office Christmas party. He then goes and visits Cece and presents her with a homemade perfume (which apparently smells horrible). He also gets to watch her make out with her hot boyfriend (equally horrible).
Paul gives Jess a super expensive presents (tickets to Vienna etc.), plus the gift of an "I love you". Jess gives him a plush beating heart, and says "Thank you". Equivalent gifts? I think not.
She admits to Nick that she doesn't love Paul, and asks his advice. Nick, unfortunately, runs into Paul on the office party's balcony and lets Jess' secret slip. Jess walks into the middle of the conversation, and awkwardness ensues. Further awkwardness? Nick, Paul, and Jess all get locked on the balcony. This gives us some comedic gems, including Nick answering a phone call from his mom while Jess and Paul discuss breaking up: "Hey Mom! I can't talk right now, I'm in a real awkward situation".
Jess and Paul break up, and Nick feels bad. He misses his flight home so that he can take Jess and the gang to see a row of Christmas-decorated houses (gee Nick, just ask her out already!). Unfortuantely, by the time they get there all of the lights are off. Nick starts yelling at them to "turn on the lights!", and soon Schmidt, Winston, and Cece join in. Eventually Jess perks up a little and joins in too, and the lights get turned on. As this happens we get to hear Zooey Deschanel as She of 'She and Him' sing a Christmas song in the background, while we watch Zooey Deschanel playing Jess on screen. It's very...meta.
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| Maybe we'll hook up when 'New Girl' is back in January |
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Lets Talk About: Zooey Deschanel
Okay, as many of you know I have been annoyed by Zooey Deschanel in the past. And no, I'm not talking about her as a person. I don't know her, and I'm not about to trash someone I've never met. I've been annoyed by many of the characters she plays, and by aspects of her celebrity persona.
Despite what I once said about 'New Girl', I have to admit that the show is improving. I still don't think it's comedic genius, but when you hold it up next to other new shows it looks pretty darn good. Jess is still a little bit too doe-eyed, little-girl attired, cutesy hipster for me but she's starting to have an actual personality, so I'm more okay with it. Plus, I actually laughed out loud during parts of "Thanksgiving" (S1Ep6) so I have to concede something.
Jake Johnson is the real reason why I'm enjoying the show more. He does a great job of making the character of Nick seem like a real guy. While Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Winston (Lamorne Morris) are more caricatures (and no, I'm not blaming the actors, but the writing, and maybe even the necessity of plot), Nick is like a real guy who could be hanging around in an apartment. Also, Johnson and Deschanel have great chemistry, which I'm sure will eventually be used by the showrunners in some sort of plot twist. Whether it is a Ross/Rachel scenario, or an actual long-term relationship remains to be seen (though my best guess is they'll use the 'Friends' trope).
My admiration for Zooey Deschanel has also increased because I'm secretly (Guess it's out of the bag now, huh?) obsessed with her band, 'She and Him'. Plus, I think the way that she dealt with Abby Elliott's impression of her on 'Saturday Night Live' was classy.
Despite what I once said about 'New Girl', I have to admit that the show is improving. I still don't think it's comedic genius, but when you hold it up next to other new shows it looks pretty darn good. Jess is still a little bit too doe-eyed, little-girl attired, cutesy hipster for me but she's starting to have an actual personality, so I'm more okay with it. Plus, I actually laughed out loud during parts of "Thanksgiving" (S1Ep6) so I have to concede something.
Jake Johnson is the real reason why I'm enjoying the show more. He does a great job of making the character of Nick seem like a real guy. While Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Winston (Lamorne Morris) are more caricatures (and no, I'm not blaming the actors, but the writing, and maybe even the necessity of plot), Nick is like a real guy who could be hanging around in an apartment. Also, Johnson and Deschanel have great chemistry, which I'm sure will eventually be used by the showrunners in some sort of plot twist. Whether it is a Ross/Rachel scenario, or an actual long-term relationship remains to be seen (though my best guess is they'll use the 'Friends' trope).
My admiration for Zooey Deschanel has also increased because I'm secretly (Guess it's out of the bag now, huh?) obsessed with her band, 'She and Him'. Plus, I think the way that she dealt with Abby Elliott's impression of her on 'Saturday Night Live' was classy.
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| Plus, I finally get how to defrost a turkey |
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