I remember the first time I was formally taught the word "transgender". I was sixteen years old and attending a summer writing workshop at the University of Virginia. One of the other students liked to borrow girls' clothing and wear it to class. I'm not sure if he* was the impetus for our session about "Sex and Gender" or if it was already on the schedule but one afternoon someone somewhere decided that it was time for us to learn the correct terminology. We learned what LGBT meant. We learned the difference between sex and gender. We learned about pronouns. Coming from a slightly conservative public high school in Virginia, and a liberal but very sheltered upbringing, all of this was news to me. Interestingly, I took it all in stride. My biggest concern was that someone should really teach him how to dress better, because the skirt and top combo didn't match at all.
Later, when I attended Smith College, these early lessons in terminology came in handy. That's not to say that Smith wasn't a culture shock, because it totally was. During a weekend for accepted students I was housed by Junior who a) had the shortest hair I had ever seen on a girl and b) was openly gay. Interestingly, all the students that she lived with seemed to veer largely toward the Lesbian side of the spectrum. This certainly isn't the case all over the Smith campus, but in that particular house my long hair-polo shirt wearing- one step away from having pearls-high school self stood out.
Three years later I would be leading a session for new students where I talked about LGBT terminology. Full circle from clueless fashion-conscious sixteen year old to more knowledgeable but still pretty clueless twenty-one year old.
Yesterday I was riding a bus through Dorchester, which is one of the poorest neighborhoods in Boston. Two Black teenagers, a guy and a girl, were talking about what drag was, which then turned into a discussion about a family friend's decision to transition. They knew the terminology. Was that because they'd read up on what to say and how to say it after learning of their friend's decision? Of course that's possible. But I also think it's possible that media is playing a role.
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