'SVU' marathons are the bane of my existence (also, John Mulaney is right for once)

I didn't watch this season of 'Law & Order: SVU' as it aired (I had to work while it was on). I'm one of those weird people who watches the show for character development. The cases are fairly interesting, but I really just want to know what's going on in Benson's love life, and whether Rollins' character is actually straight, and what the hell is going on with Amaro. When you watch a show for character development it typically helps to watch the episodes in order so that you can, you know, observe the characters' development.

One of the main frustrations of my life is that despite the fact that USA seems to play 'SVU' marathons about 70 hours a week, they always have weird themes; "ripped from the headlines", "famous guest stars", "Benson's boyfriends". Okay, I may have made that last one up since it's a marathon I'd actually be willing to watch, but regardless you get my point. Those marathons really don't help someone who cares about character development. They skip from an episode where District Attorney Cabot is no where to be found because she's in witness protection and almost everyone thinks she's dead to six episodes in a row where she's lead prosecutor. Then you see Stabler and Benson solve a case, but the next episode he's gone. Then Benson has super short hair and you wonder if they were trying to make her a butch cop, but suddenly she's all femme and kissing David Haden. This is why I need to watch the episodes in order.

I'm apparently too cheap to pay for Hulu Plus so I've decided that I'll take advantage of their free trial and watch all of season 14 of 'SVU' in one week.

I started two days ago and I'm already starting to notice several patterns. I could probably write this show y'all. Besides that, I've also learned that John Mulaney is totally right: 14 years and Ice-T still has no fucking clue.